DF's wife and baby

[Sidn222]

NC for this one!

I am due to give birth any day now (I'm overdue) and I'm starting to perhaps irrationally worry about what'll happen when the baby does come.

My Dad has been with his wife for about 15 years now. We get on OK and we're pleasant enough, so no major troubles there. The problem is, that she's definitely what I believe to be alcohol-dependant.

She has a bottle of wine or two a night, as well as taking a lot of prescription medication (all prescribed!). It isn't my business to pry and that isn't anything to do with me. However, my problem is that she post 3 o'clock is always at least tipsy and my DH has observed that she sometimes seems shaky. I really can't have that sort of behaviour around a child, let alone a newborn baby.

DH is now adamant that she will not be left alone with or hold the baby and I do agree. How do I broach this with my DF?

I don't want to seem as though I'm singling her out or anything and I know it's a very delicate subject...

Don't worry about it. I cannot foresee any situation in the near future where you have to sit them both down and say "Now look here, Stepmother, you are an alcoholic and \I don't want you alone with my baby

Serious newborns need their mum, and they need their dad. They don't need to be passed around. If she asks to look after him, just say he's clingy, or has a bit of a temperature, and make all the excuses that sound sweet and sensible but really all amount to "No. You're not having him. The end."

Why would she be left alone with him?? Even if she hadn't got addiction issues, it's unlikely she'd be babysitting him surely.

As for holding, you use your judgement and say no at the time - you look a bit shaky actually Morag, maybe later! or Of course you can (10 am, perfect sober)
Or you're probably going to have to broach it with them. If its 10 am, she's sober and no shaky etc and your Dad goes to pass him over and you demand him back, they will eventually notice and they'll assume its because she's the "step mother" rather than because she has dependency issues.

Tbh if you care about them, I'd raise a concern with Dad anyway

Honestly you don’t need to worry about this now. You will keep your baby close and at some point in the future when it is required you will make a stand. Don’t overthink it, you have more important things to think about.

Why are you worried? Have they mentioned having the baby alone? You can just refuse, forever more. If push comes to shove and they ask (but why would they?) you gently explain why not.