My MIL loses her head when in a social situation. NC, Trying not to drip feed but just give the facts.
MIL and I get on really well. She’s massively opinionated and I’m laid back so I don’t really care most of the time when she probably oversteps.
She loves to be the life and soul of the party but acts crazy when out. Starts whooping, shouting, scream insane laughing at nothing, crazy dancing (not on dance floor) waving hands and in general acting drunk. I’m usually pulled aside and asked how many she’s had and no one then believes she hasn’t had any alcohol. She’s in her late 60s.
My WWYD relates to my FIL funeral and her behaviour.
She divorced FIL when DH left home in the 80s as a teen and shes been remarried for years.
FIL was twenty years older and an old man in sheltered housing who you’d never put together with this intelligent full of life woman.
She helped massively with care after we found 2 sets of carers were stealing from him and she practically took over as we were other end of the country. She did complain constantly and tell me she didn’t like him but was doing it for DH and she did go above and beyond.
When he died, I had no one to look after my baby & toddler for the funeral who were too young and definitely wouldn’t behave In the church. Her attitude was that I would just have to miss it then and not be there to support DH (who is an only child.)
I was surprised she didn’t consider not going, seeing as she was the ex wife. My DSC were baffled and voiced that their gran should miss it and I should be there for their dad and them.
In the end I found a relative willing to miss it to babysit. MIL kept checking babysitting was definitely still happening with relative over and over in the week leading up to the funeral until my DH pointed out she was acting like a lunatic.
MIL viewed herself as a VIP and integral part of the funeral.
At her house, before the service she was half way through getting ready when she started grabbing her pet screaming that it was dying. She was hysterically crying squashing it to her face while her DH told her there was nothing wrong with it. I couldn’t believe of all days she would turn up in a state and couldn’t keep a lid on it for DH sake. We had the car coming and she wouldn’t finish getting ready.
She tried to push in behind the coffin to get a seat at the front and DSC said “for fuck sake look at gran”
After the service DH and I stood outside to thank the guests and she shoved to the front and accepted all the sympathy, putting out her hand to them when they offered it to DH. She was basically acting like the widow.
DH was generally unaware in cloud of grief and went in separate car to the wake.
MIL and I walk through cemetery when we saw two old friends of FIL. She greeted them and to introduce me said “this is (pause) well I don’t know WHAT to call you really, this is DH girlfriend” I looked at her like she had two heads and said “well technically fiancée” she waved her hands dismissively at that so I told the men DH and I had two children and had been together 10 years!
DH and I have been together engaged nine years, two DC and only refer to each other as husband and wife even though we haven’t had a ceremony.
It pissed me off that she was trying to dismiss me as a girlfriend as she would never ever EVER have said this in front of her son.
She then started recalling stories from when they knew each other and was scream laughing while a burial was taking place nearby and the guests were giving us daggers. I kept trying to move her along, out of earshot and in the end I said
“look that funeral over there are really unhappy with all the laughing” she said “I’m sure they are!”and still wouldn’t move so in end I walked away from her.
That’s unlike her, she is a caring person but she said it to me like she was an obnoxious drunk.
So WWYD in that situation? I dealt with it by doing nothing but she was really rude all day and made the funeral all about her with zero thought for her son. She would have been happy for me not to be there even though DH wanted me there and when I made it happen she was trying to be the star of the show.