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Schools, houses, Ugh!

5 replies

ChocoholicsAsylum · 17/05/2018 00:22

Hi peeps,

First thread and hope it is ok!

So it's long and apologize... moved in November, heart breaking move as loved my home but 1) Needed a bigger house as children were fighting for space as they were sharing and 2) I think if I hadn't moved, the situation with awful neighbours may have got alot worse and I was so upset seeing them on a daily basis and didn't think it was good as my anxiety and my mood swings over them for my poor family wasn't great.
So when we moved after me backing and fourthing all month whether to do it or not (it is 2 miles away from kids school), we did and the day moved went completely tits up! Our pet died that day, he was so sick and I had spent 3 days for 5 hours roughly a night cuddling him as knew he was going to go and he died that day :( also the house ended up having 6 weeks of intense repairs as some twat passed it as fine to live in, which I ended up losing my shit over as it was far too much, just couldnt get settled in at all and really resented moving into a place that was really not fit for purpose and had 23 repairs!
Anyways I immediately regretted moving and after spending 2k on 2 x rents, decor, carpets and flooring, plus general moving costs, Christmas, I felt rather depressed. It really wasn't what I was hoping for, and seemed more stress than was needed and felt like why the fuck did we!? It hasnt been worth it.

Fast forward 6 months on, I am half settled, I dont know if I am utterly done in with it all and have come to accept the place as it is (new bathrooms are needed as they are a mess, one stripped out as flooded badly). I have been trying to get back on my feet financially, even though HMRC have just told me they have over paid me ffs!

I had moved the children to the local school here, to make life slightly easier, although whipped them back out within a month, as the staff didnt seem to know their arses from elbows and there was alot of class disruption, with some children already there.

To be quite honest the only 2 good things about moving is we are not as cramped and no arsehole neighbours - nothing else though and I was really missing where we lived as apart from the shit morons we lived next to and less space, my kids got out more, could walk to school, nicer area.

Now here is finally where the "What would you do" comes in. I have been offered a house swap back to where I was, same street although it is a big street. Smaller house, but nice house... back to being close to school (driving them everyday at the mo between my shifts or paying a fortune on busses/trains and it is killing me).

Now I could move back and life might well be alot easier getting kids to school and letting them back out and gaining their independence - another thing is I dont fully trust this area we moved to. It is a smaller house and potential to see the morons again :/ big moving costs AGAIN.

If I don't move: I dont need to fork out major moving costs and carpet costs etc... still have space, peace of mind neighbour wise but school is a ballache to do everyday. :( the kids like the school, so unsettling them again isnt an option.

I am so exhausted and fed up really... I just want to settle down! I was reading a thread on here before I started this from 2008 about how far people travel to school... some people dont mind and people in my work do it.... I just don't know.

Advice? Take a massive medal if you even read this! xx

OP posts:
memaymamo · 18/05/2018 14:14

To be honest, I'd try a bit harder to settle and find peace where you are. You mention anxiety.. is this a major problem for you? Is it possible that you'd feel antsy and unsettled regardless?

I don't mean this in a rude or negative way, but sometimes when problems follow us around, it's worth looking inwards as well as outwards.

It does sound like you've had a very hard time and I'm sorry for that.

FanSpamTastic · 18/05/2018 14:27

Would the kids have their own rooms in the new place or be back to sharing? Longer term they would presumably want their own space?

I would write down a list of pros and cons to each option. Then weigh up if head or heart wins!

ChocoholicsAsylum · 18/05/2018 17:11

Thankyou both of you, I do appreciate your replies alot. I think its just been very hard and trying this last year because I didnt mention I also had a mental breakdown last April and wrote off work for 3 months by my GP. I had been working constantly with no life work balance and shit from neighbours, so called best friend and I fell out after me being a constant crutch to her chaotic life, which she threw back in my face... so think yes been feeling pretty done in and anxious.
I have started to turn life around and taking care of what and who matters and ocasaionally saying 'No' now! Think I will stay put because moving again just isnt realistic when I think about it. Xx

OP posts:
Nb65988 · 31/05/2018 09:35

Omg u are the unlucky person 1 why did u not view new house and tell them about kitchen n bathroom u knew what they looked like when u said yes 2 u say u loved old house but couldn't really go out cause ure neighbors don't see how u would love this 3 u are a very lucky person to be given a bigger house which fits kids needs bedroom wise u paid all the money to decorate when u hated before u even moved.4 u never gave house a chance all house need repaired yes they messed up but it's fixable 5 u are ungrateful being given a bigger house better for ure children 6 u pulled them from school cause they don't know 2hat there doing I'm sure ure training as a teacher u would know what ure talking about 7 now u want to swap back to a smaller house In same street were u have hassle 8 ure mad to move back that house ain't going to feel any better

ChocoholicsAsylum · 31/05/2018 15:30

Well thanks for your response! If you actually read my post I didnt know at the time how bad it really was untill I moved in and needed all the repairs. Decor and stuff you can do as you settle in and I have been messed about very badly by the housing!

Also yes I got a bigger house but its made no difference to the kids not fighting anyways unfortunatly. I was very happy to be offered a bigger house at the time, its been a big effort for nothing though and I would be happy for another family to be in it.
Thanks for having a go at me though.

Dont judge a persons life untill you have been there.

OP posts:
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