I take my kids to a playground near my home that has a number of different structures consisting of slides, swings etc. On this day, we’d gotten there fairly early and then other kids started coming in. I noticed 3 kids who were probably between 4 and 5 years old, playing near the slides and the only reason that I noticed them was because one of them (PK) was growling at another kid (SK) and kept threatening to beat him up. PK came to the playground with his mum and SK was there with a carer but they were sitting on the benches on the opposite side of the slides, so couldn’t clearly see/hear what was going on. PK and SK had apparently had a playdate the day before that had gone really well. But today, it seemed as if SK did not want to play with PK. There was another girl with them (RK) who was there with her granddad and didn’t have a clue what was going on but she started out playing with SK (which is what seems to have ticked PK off) and then stayed away as the drama got more serious.
So anyway, I noticed PK growling and threatening this other kid and initially I kinda smiled at him and shared an amused look with RK’s granddad (who at one point had to tell PK to back off). But after a while I realized this kid was serious and got a little nervous. My own kids were blissfully unaware and were playing on their own.
PK’s mum eventually intervened and got the boys separated. I wasn’t paying too much attention since I was keeping an eye on my own kids. Eventually everyone ended up towards the front of the slides where there was a seating area. I was sitting down with my kids since they were taking a break from playing to have water and snacks. So on one side was me and my kids and on the other side was PK, his mum, SK , his carer and another little girl who was around 2 years old and blissfully unaware of the drama going on around her. PK’s mum was sitting with PK and SK and grilling SK on why he wouldn’t play with him, they had a playdate just yesterday and everything was fine etc. After a while she started telling me the same thing.
‘I don’t know what’s going on, they were playing fine yesterday, today they don’t want play together.’
Not wanting to get too involved, I said, ‘you know what kids are like, best friends one day and fighting the next and best friends again the day after.’
‘Nope’, I was informed, ‘in this case it was different. SK was being mean to PK by not playing with him.’
All this time, PK is wandering around with bunched up fists, saying he is mad and he is going to hit someone. Eventually he punched SK in the stomach in front of everyone. I was shocked beyond words. PK’s mum took SK to one side and said to him ‘this is all your fault, why didn’t you play with him, you should apologise etc. ‘
All while this poor kid was bawling his eyes out because he’d just been punched in the stomach by PK and the grown ups had done nothing to stop him but instead were blaming SK.
And then PK’s mum started talking to the SK’s carer. She said, ‘this wont affect our friendship, I still want to keep in touch, I just don’t want any more playdates with SK, I can’t believe he wont even apologise to my son etc.’
SK’s carer said,’ he won’t apologise because that is how he was raised’. I don’t know if SK heard her or not but at this point I just felt so sorry for him. All because he wouldn’t play with PK.
PK’s mum kept trying to make excuses to me about how he was a great boy etc. I just picked up my kids and decided to leave because she was then trying to get her son to play with my daughter. On the way out, she took my number (I have no idea why I didn’t just say no) and promised to text me to arrange a playdate with my daughter and PK. They live a short distance from us.
I’m not sure if I handled it correctly. My own kids witnessed some of the drama but didn’t seem too perturbed by it. But I felt so bad for SK, he simply wanted to play with other kids and the grown ups were simply too overbearing about it all and PK’s mum did nothing to control him, especially after he punched this poor kid. I was a bystander but should I have intervened? I’m not really confrontational so I don’t even know what I could have said, just feeling a little sad that SK had no one to stand up for him.