Am I right in stopping my Dad from seeing my daughter?

[jcb27]

My sister (21) lives at home with our parents and 16 year old sister. (Mum is disabled and Dad is her carer. Sister helps out.) She asked to have my daughter, (turns 3 in July) overnight as she has done many times and I agreed. Around midnight my daughter woke up and decided she wanted to play and during that time she somehow poked my sister in the eye and left her crying in pain and unable to open her eye. I got a phonecall to say that my sister was going to have to go to hospital and her and my other sister would be dropping my daughter home in a taxi on the way to the hospital because Dad had been drinking so couldn't drive. (I don't drive myself) I said it was fine and to let me know when they're on their way and I would wait outside for them. 10 minutes later I received a phonecall from my frantic Mum who told me that my Dad had taken them in the car because a taxi was going to take a while and he had my daughter in the car with him because he couldn't leave her behind with Mum. I was furious! I cannot explain the gut wrenching fear I felt. I rang my sister and he was shouting down the phone saying, "I've only had 6 cans I'm fine". In my opinion he should never have put my daughter in the car when he'd had a drink whether that was 6 cans or 1!! The next day when my Mum phoned I told her I wanted an apology from him for putting my daughters life at risk and said he's irresponsible and unless he owns up to his mistake, accepts that he was wrong and apologises to myself and her father then he will not see her again. He is refusing to apologise and says he has nothing to apologise for as he was just taking his daughter to hospital as she was in pain.

What's people's thoughts on this? Should I just let it be or am I right in demanding an apology and keeping my child away from him until he realises the consequences of his actions?

Drink driving isn't really excusable, however maybe he was panicking to get his daughter to hospital. What he really should have done if he really felt the need to drive was leave the non injured sister and your daughter behind. Does he drink and drive often or was it a one off panicking not thinking straight moment. If it was a one off then I think I would be inclined to say you are unhappy about it but understand how it happened then say if it happens again you will feel unable to trust him around your daughter.

I do understand why it happened which is why I said I was willing to forgive and forget if he'd just apologise for putting my daughter in danger. I've given him the option to apologise and unfortunately it seems he would rather not see his granddaughter growing up than accept his mistake.
It's the first time he's done this with my daughter yes but I never allowed her around alcohol until recently. I had a strict rule of no drinking while looking after her. He used to drink drive often when I was younger. I also have a very rough history with him. He used to hit me a lot and emotionally abuse me when I was growing up. We've moved on from that and get on great now but obviously I still have my doubts when it comes to his behaviour.

Of course he should apologise, I should of said that, but I think it should be more of a natural sorry I didn't mean to do it but panicked type sorry, rather than a forced (and possibly meaningless) sorry, if that makes sense?

Maybe not keep her away from him but not leave her with him until you can trust him again?

I think you are spot on . How dare he put your little girls life at risk by drink driving with her. From your second post op your dad sounds pretty toxic . It is often when our own children are put at risk by a toxic grandparent that we snap and finally call them out on their bad behaviour.