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Should I stay with dp

7 replies

GhostStory · 15/05/2018 00:00

Dp and I have been together for nearly 4 years now. Our relationship obviously isn't perfect but it's pretty good.
He has 3 dc from a previous relationship who stay with him full time . They're brilliant kids and I get on great with them.

When I first got together with dp I didn't want children of my own. However, over the past few years I've been thinking about more and more and I've known now for a while that I definitely do.

Dp is open to having more but we'll have to wait years before we can afford another one on top of his three and even then we'd have to scrimp and save and we'll only be able to afford one, maybe two if we have a large gap.
This is all the the complete opposite how I want to have children.

I feel like I have to leave him to at least give myself the opportunity to try and have the family I want.

I thought I felt pretty sure I spoke to s close friend about it and she said I would be silly and selfish to break up an otherwise great relationship because of this and now I don't know wether she's right and I'll regret it if I break up with him or if I'll regret it more staying in a relationship where at the moment thinking about our future just makes me upset.

OP posts:
GhostStory · 15/05/2018 07:32

.

OP posts:
ijustwannadance · 15/05/2018 07:40

How old are you? Do you have time to wait?
Does your DP genuinely want more kids or do you think he is saying he might do in the future but not definately?

coffeecoffeemorecoffee · 15/05/2018 07:41

I don't see what the problem is.. you want kids with him, so have kids with him? Would you really break up the relationship just to have an ideal circumstance?

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GhostStory · 15/05/2018 11:58

I think the money is the main problem for me.
I hadn't thought much about having children before I met dp but I've known since I was quite young that I never want to have a baby in a situation where we have to count every penny and be really stressed about money. And I don't want to inflict that upon his dc that he already has either.

OP posts:
Againfaster · 15/05/2018 12:02

are you going to be any better off if you are a single parent?
or what if the next person you fell in love with had even less money?

SweetCheeks1980 · 16/05/2018 12:10

Can you or your partner retrain (uni?) so that you can earn more money?

Or do something at home, like selling second hand clothes online. I sell a lot online; I look through freecycle, and the free sites on FB etc and sell on. It actually makes a fair few extra pounds each month (£40 ish).

Nb65988 · 31/05/2018 16:07

So how are u going to afford the family that u are leaving ure partner what type of Family is it is ure partner 3girls and 1 child enough and every one counts thev penny's with kids doesn't mean it's not a gdfamily it's not all about the money there's loads of other things to family are u hoping u meet someone who earns more and give urd kids u could be miserable and gave up a guy that aren't slot of them about u don't deserve him

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