My nearly 12 year old daughter has exhausted me to the limit

[emotinallydrained]

Hello everyone
As the title suggests my almost 12 year old daughter is exhausted me to the max, she is so rude the way she talks, answering back, attitude, not listening, horrible to her siblings and horrible to me and damn right lazy. It's been years it probably started when she was 8 or 9. I've tried reasoning with, explaining how she makes others feel, being strict, being mean, ignoring her, taking away her things but nothing works. I'm at my wits end with her. My whole energy goes in her and she is the eldest of 4, i have no attention and energy left for the others, this cannot go on. As horrible as it sounds I cannot bear to be in the same room as her at the moment. It's a struggle.
Any help or suggestions? What shall I do? What shall I try ? I'm willing to try anything at the moment.
She's a great person at school and her teachers all have only ever praised her.
Thanks

Do you ever spend time just with her? I would be working now to build up a good relationship, I think time is the most precious thing we can give our children

My dd12 is exhausting. I find love bombing works a treat and I try and ensure I get at least 1 afternoon a month just with her. Can you get time alone?

Thank you for the replies, I do try and spend alone time with her and when I take her out or treat her she's fine but then back to her ways as soon as we are home again. But I will definitely try and spending more time with her. My 3 younger ones are in bed by 7 so I give her an hour of my time everyday too before she goes to bed.

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