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Original poster

Cheating partner

7 replies

Dawn9114 · 11/05/2018 10:57

Looking for some advice. I've been with my partner for 11 years now. Everything was going great. We have a 4 year old DD. I'm now pregnant with our DS and at 16 weeks I walked in on him with another woman. I gave him a second chance but now at 35 weeks he has been caught again with the same woman. I really don't know what to do. I love him. I've been with him since I was 16 and we have our children. Can I really give him another chance?

OP posts:
Shmithecat · 11/05/2018 11:00

No, sorry, you can't. Do you have other support around you?

Original poster
Dawn9114 · 11/05/2018 11:19

Not really got anyone. It's so hard. DD has taken it really hard and is acting up. She keeps saying that she isn't going to start behaving until her dad is home and then I've to leave. Couldn't have happened at a worse time

OP posts:
RatherBeRiding · 11/05/2018 11:45

No you really can't give him another chance - what for? He's betrayed your trust twice now, even after having been caught out before. He's a lying cheat and you simply cannot continue.

Of course your DD is upset, but knowing it's to be expected won't make it any easier to deal with. Does he still see her as it sounds as though he's left home? It's important to have as much continuity as possible, and he really ought to be the one explaining to her that he will be staying somewhere else and that no-one is to blame for that (he is of course, but she's too young to have to deal with that kind of thing).

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Original poster
Dawn9114 · 11/05/2018 13:02

Yes he's left but still sees her whenever he isn't working. He has said to me he would have no phone etc if I could just give him another chance. This is the hardest part. I really love him he was my first proper boyfriend. He's the only person I've ever loved. 11 years is a long time. Can I really throw all that away. I'm really struggling with everything just now. With 5 weeks until due date I don't know what to do about anything. I'm scared I'm going to go through birth and everything on my own.

OP posts:
Shmithecat · 11/05/2018 13:18

You haven't thrown it all away OP, he did. Twice.

minmooch · 11/05/2018 13:44

You are pregnant with his second child. You have been together 11 years - enough time to make a life together. This was not enough for him. He cheated and got caught - that was not enough for him. He's cheated again and got caught.

He doesn't love or respect you.

He's thrown it away. You would be a fool to give him any more chances.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 11/05/2018 15:08

Can I really give him another chance?

Another chance to cheat on you? Sure you can do that, if you really want to. Where is your self respect? Find your anger, stop going on about how much you love him.

He's a creep and a cheat. And you need to get tested for STIs. You've actually walked on him and her TWICE? He wants to get caught.

Sorry OP, am sure it's hard going with your DD but he will do it to you again. Could you honestly ever trust him again?

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