Husband in contact with woman he had affair with

[Zadoodle]

Many years ago my husband had an affair with a work colleague. He ended it but It nearly destroyed me & took me a long time & a lot of effort to get over.
I’ve just joined linked in and linked in with my husband. However when looking at his contacts ive seen he is linked in with the woman he had the affair with!
I was shocked & really hurt & find it really disrespectful that he is in contact with someone who played her part in so much pain & disruption in our marriage.
The affair was a very long time ago & I’m a pretty rational person & recognise that things have been good since then but even so I’m struggling with the fact they are linked in together & it raises issues of trust which I haven’t had a problem with for many years.
Am I over reacting!!!!?

No.

You are definitely not overreacting.

Even though it was over 10years ago & she has since married and had a family.

I feel like because of the time scales I shouldn’t be pi£(;(d off but I really am!
I feel it’s undermined everything!!!
I can’t believe how hurt I am but my head & heart are in conflict!

You can't blame yourself for feeling the way you are. It's normal. I imagine your husband would feel the same way if the roles were reversed!

He is out of order. Have you explained how you feel?

Thing is what is it you want him to do? Even if he removes the contact now after you have caught him out he still did it. Will his excuses for contacting her after all he/she put you through be enough?

I went through similar once. It didn’t matter what he did after the event. I wasn’t enough to stop him in the first place. He didn’t respect me. A year down the line I still felt betrayed and uneasy. In the end I walked away.

I hope you find some peace. Good luck x

And the time scale is irrelevant. You have only recently found out.

LinkedIn? It's the dullest social media medium. Are they connected anywhere else?

I have some random people on my linkedin. It's not people I like or want to meet up with. It's people who could be useful to me.

Amberheartkitty you’ve knocked the nail on the head, it’s about respect & you’re right the damage has been done! I’ve not said anything .... I’m too disappointed at the moment. We’ve been together 22years and to me he’s done the 1thing that could hurt me the most!! I don’t think we can recover from it.
Jaipo I agree about LinkedIn & contacts but it’s the respect side of it!
I’m crying reading these!

Men are such idiots at times! Essentially it’s been a good and successful marriage bar his one infidelity! I can’t believe he’d be so stupid to not think about a simple connection on LinkedIn sndcthe ranifications!

I don't think your over reacting at all, I think you have every right to be upset and hurt by this, it's the simple fact that you forgave after his affair so he should respect your wishes and have nothing to do with her, hope everything works out for you xx

It is the only thing that could rock our marriage & yet he chose to be connected with her. I’m not for a moment suggesting anything is going on but the truth is I can’t forgive his decision to be in contact with her.
I feel so strongly that his actions have undermined the trust & respect within our relationship that I have no choice other than to walk away from our 23 year (20 married) union!

Thanks ladies for your previoys views and comments.
X

I too, would've walking away right now. And I'd probably be wishing I had left all those years ago when he had the affair.

So sorry OP