Bit of a rant and I apologise in advance.
So I find it difficult being on the spectrum (diagnosed as an adult) to make friends. I would say I have more acquaintances than real friends (only real friends I would say is my brother and partner of 12 years) but I do try my best. Anyway over time I have noticed that all the people that call me their friend only want me when they need something, looking after their child, lending them money, running to the shops for them, asking me to use my business at cost or nothing at all! I do it because I am desperate to have a social life for the sake of my kids, I don't want them to be on their own like I was as a child.
Recently a neighbour who I considered a mate, messaged me in the early hours after a spat with her fella, I stayed up all night despite not sleeping for the last few nights because of my child, because she said she was heading over, but she asked if I could pick her bits up from the late night garage which I did as she seemed like a mess, I dropped them off and she said she would be round shortly after. She never turned up, she went into a different neighbours house, whom messaged me at 7am to ask me to basically babysit her through the day. So I messaged this so called mate that I was not going to go out and if she needed anything to message me, she just sent her child over for the entire day and forgot to pick him up! Then refused to talk to me the last couple of days because I am guilty by association for talking to her fella who is mates with my other half, all I said was hi and didn't ask of anything that went on between them, as it is non of my business. And I feel like I have been outcasted by the other neighbours who have also stopped talking to me.
It's a sunny day today and my partner and I plan to take the kids out to the beach and guess who has messaged me to ask if I can take her kid with us and if I can pop to the shops for her because she is too drained to head out herself! I just feel like a mug, why do people abuse my good nature? I get that I have my quirks and if people do ask my opinion I say it as I see it, I am all too aware of how I come across and try not to be like that but for once in my life I would like a friend who is there for me too! I haven't replied to her message but I know if I don't take her child with us she just going to kick off and say/spread crap to the neighbours and I already find social situations hard, I really don't need this as I tend to hide in the house, which far too easy to do as I run my business from home and only really go out if I need too or to take the kids out to play.
My partner says to ignore her and to enjoy my day but I don't want to be the social outcast from the only people that I do talk to other than customers.
By the way, my neighbour is aware of what she is doing and how it makes me feel, my partner has made it clear to me she knows how to play me and that I am a soft touch!
There no need to reply, this is more for me to get this off my chest before I start to loose the plot and ruin things for my family. But if you have any advice how I can change to stop this from happening then I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks hope you all are having a lovely day