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Original poster

To tell my mum on her birthday?

27 replies

Ebeneser · 29/04/2018 16:55

It's my mums birthday in a few days, and we are going out for a meal that evening (just our immediate family). I haven't told my mum I'm pregnant yet (I had my first scan about 10 days ago - have been waiting for result of downs test first). My sister and partner are the only ones in the know so far.

I was thinking of putting a scan picture in her birthday card and giving it to her on the night.

Do you think that would be acceptable, or would it detract away from it being her birthday?
She's going to be quite surprised I think (I never planned to have any children, this one is an accident!).

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 29/04/2018 16:58

I’d tell her now. You’re risking making her birthday all about your pregnancy.

Congratulations.

Snipples · 29/04/2018 17:00

If you think she will react positively then I think a birthday surprise is a lovely idea.

greendale17 · 29/04/2018 17:00

I’d tell her now. You’re risking making her birthday all about your pregnancy.

^What?

My mum would have loved to have found out on her birthday. She would have said it was the best birthday present ever.

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WhatsGoingOnEh · 29/04/2018 17:22

I'd love to find out such happy news, from one of the people I love most in the whole world, on my birthday! I guess it will turn the evening's attention on to you... You know your mum, would she mind?

Whisky2014 · 29/04/2018 17:23

Sounds like a great idea!

Leopoldstotch · 29/04/2018 17:24

I think it'd make a lovely surprise! I'd put the scan pic in the card as well.
Congratulations!

theboud · 29/04/2018 17:25

I think it would be lovely. My friend did similar for her Dad on his birthday. He didn’t think it overshadowed anything, he was just very excited about being a Grandpa!

Otterseatpuffinsdontthey · 29/04/2018 17:26

As you haven't mentioned it, I'm assuming it's not a "landmark" birthday?
I would make sure your partner and sister are aware of what you plan to do.
Wait until the meal is finished, presents and cards given/opened, birthday cake presented.
First time your mum leaves the table (going to toilet?) - put the card containing scan picture at her table place.
Champagne at the ready! Smile

LyricalGangster · 29/04/2018 17:27

You know your mum best. If she is likely to be grumpy about it detracting from her 'special day' then do it at a different time. If it will bring her joy then do it.

Maybe get a birthday card addressed to grandma and put a scan pic in?

TheHobbitMum · 29/04/2018 17:31

I think it's a lovely idea! Get a card that says Happy Birthday Grandma and pop the scan pic inside :)

AnneLovesGilbert · 29/04/2018 17:36

Congratulations OP!

I think it’s a lovely idea. She’ll be delighted!

Original poster
Ebeneser · 29/04/2018 21:25

Thanks all. I think she will be really chuffed about it, but wasn’t sure if it’s the done thing. She has always wanted me to have children but I’ve always told her I’m not interested. She hasn’t mentioned it for a few years, so has clearly given up on the idea of me ever having children (I’m officially over the hill next year).

I like the idea of putting the scan in a Birthday card addressed to grandma from bump, so will do that. I will wait until after the meal when we are having final drinks etc to give it to her.

I have spoken to my sister and she is happy with that, as is my partner. Both my sister and BIL asked to be there when I told her anyway, So they can see the look of surprise on her face (as I said this will be completely unexpected coming from me).

OP posts:
TwitterQueen1 · 29/04/2018 21:28

Lovely idea. But I would do during the meal - not wait until afterwards. If you wait until final drinks you'll be there forever!

Btw - what age is 'officially over the hill'?

Original poster
Ebeneser · 29/04/2018 21:34

@TwitterQueen1 traditionally “over the hill” has always been once you got to 40 (when you’re supposed to also have your mid life crisis), but I personally don’t class that as particularly old nowadays!

OP posts:
TwitterQueen1 · 29/04/2018 21:45

Ah, thanks. Wasn't sure. If you'd said 35 I would have given you a right good talking to [wink as I didn't start the whole baby thing until I was 35 and had #3 just shy of 40. Congratulations btw!

Heartofglass12345 · 29/04/2018 21:49

I think it would be lovely to get her a nana/ grandma card and put the picture in, she will probably be over the moon if she's always wanted grandchildren! Congratulations Smile

Buglife · 29/04/2018 21:49

My Mam is so not the type to be bothered by her birthday being a big thing and was delighted when I told her about both my pregnancies so she would have loved it. Only you know your mum best... I’d be amazed though that many people finding out their daughter was having a baby would get stroppy about her birthday not being ‘all about her’ but I assume if she were that kind of person you’d know and would have mentioned it! Sounds lovely to give a card with the photo.

Original poster
Ebeneser · 30/04/2018 06:53

@TwitterQueen1 I’m sure I read somewhere that people having babies at 35+ are considered geriatric mothers. I was like WTF!

OP posts:
Shedmicehugh1 · 30/04/2018 06:57

You can get birthday cards from ‘the bump’!

Lovely idea and congratulations!

TwitterQueen1 · 30/04/2018 07:50

Ebeneser yes you're right. I was a 'geriatric' mother and automatically under consultant care. Shock Grin that was a good few years ago now though - things must have changed (I hope)

MrsDilber · 30/04/2018 07:55

Yes put the picture in her card, birthday meals are hardly royal weddings. I'd love it, if it were me.

blueskyinmarch · 30/04/2018 07:58

If either of my DDs did this I would be thrilled. It would be the best birthday present I could ever imagine

IJustHadToNameChange · 30/04/2018 08:01

Happy Birthday Grandma!

Clevs · 30/04/2018 08:05

I had my 12 week scan two days before my mum's birthday and put the photo in her card. She was over the moon to find out on her birthday!

justanotheruser18 · 30/04/2018 08:06

I think it will be a lovely birthday surprise!

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