Child lying

[Nkhutch]

Dd is 7 and has told lies for around a year. Normal development o know but they are now not little white lies and getting worse. They consist of saying her teachers are saying not very nice things to her, things that happen at her other parents house. She has been unhappy in her schooling for a while and I have never liked the school so I applied to move her. Only to find out she has told her teacher and her other parent she is happy there. I feel really stupid now that I've got to go and undo the process. She is also saying things regarding her time with me which isn't nice at all. I've spoken to her several tomes about lying, why it is wrong, gave consequences etc nothing is working. I'm considering taking her before her current teacher tomorrow and telling her she isn't moving anymore because she hasn't told the truth about how she feels about school, but also a meeting with her to address what she is saying about what's happening at school to. I have no idea how to address the lying at home but need to as it is getting out of hand wwyd?

I’m not sure why she won't stop lying, have you had much look looking through Google for why she might be doing this? Did you used to do this growing up? If not you could try stricter punishments or reverse psychology and always lie to her and see what happens

OP, with all due respect, sheddooropen is talking out of her backside. Please ignore her.

You have a worried and possibly disturbed child. Don't attempt to shame her at home or in front of her teacher. She urgently needs someone to talk to who won't judge her or accuse her of lying.

I don't know the quickest way to access counselling for her, but the GP or the head teacher might be good people to ask.

I ain't talking out of my arse at all I know several people who have been through this exact issue, once they either handed stricter punishments or talked to the child the issue got solved and in one case the kid was constantly lying for 2 years. It's going to be a wait to get help you won't get help immediately hence why you could try these methods in the meantime. I know how frustrating it is my friends have been there

In the example you use of being happy/ unhappy at school. You know her best and you've picked up on this no doubt through various methods of communication I.e. her manner as well as the things she's said.

Is it possible that her non resident parent and teacher have gone along the lines of saying 'You're happy at school, aren't you!' and she's not felt able to discuss with them the ins and outs of not being happy there.

Shed is 100% right. My older sister was in the same situation and she had a girl who was constantly lying for 3 years. My sister ignored it at first for a year and a half and I told her she needs to be firm and ask daughter why she is doing this and impose a stricter punishment. She also spoke to a GP and was referred to see a child psychologist and he said we did the right thing to ask the child and impose stricter punishments to start with. The issue has all been sorted now.

God don't lie to her or go crazy with punishment. Your example shows so much pressure on a little girl, you choose her school and don't leave her in a position where she has to tell a teacher she is unhappy or happy which is a position lots of adults would hate to be in. There is nothing for you to feel stupid about - why are you being made so self conscious by the comments of a 7 year old? Why are you letting her make big choices, thats's your job. You don't sound confident in your communication with her - start there.

She is lying for attention, children who feel a bit lost do this routinely because any attention is better than non. Speak about things she is good at, model clear communication and challenge lies explaining why they are unsuccessful. Give her attention for succeeding and take the pressure off her, she is young and its a normal if hugely frustrating stage. Conversation gets to the root of the problem whilst out of proportion punishments make the matter worse. The stage rarely lasts beyond three years as the child realises you can't bend reality to make your self seem different and that peers don't like being lied to. At the moment you are leading her to this realisation gently and if she is miserable at school if you make her happier then often the problem stops.