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What should I do?

1 reply

littleknight89 · 20/04/2018 22:10

I have got myself into a bit of a messy situation and coukd use some advice. So my husband works full time and I work part time so I can look after our DD. A little while before Christmas I was offered a big promotion at work something I really wanted but I had to change my hours to get it. The change was that instead of working one shift every other weekend I would work two. So one week I have the weekend off and the next I’d work Saturday and Sunday and take it in turns like that. I thought that sounded good as my husband is at home on weekends so can have DD and it’s not like I would be at work all day plus I still got guaranteed every other weekend off. My husband was not happy with these new hours and demanded I did not agree to them. I was only going to get the new job if I agreed so I hoped my husband would see sense and let me do it. I ended up agreeing to the change and my husband never did come round. He doesn’t know I agreed I couldn’t bring myself to tell him and for the last couple of months I have making up why I’m going to work or making out Iv gone somewhere else when I’m really at work. He says if i work every other weekend I’m choosing work over him and don’t love him anymore. I couldn’t love him more and I hate myself so much for lying to him. I hate it when we argue so I find it hard to talk to him about stuff all I get is the silent treatment. He hates it if I cry too. So I have made the situation worse and now facing the reality again that I need to work tomorrow morning and he thinks I’m not working. When I tell him I am when my alarm goes off he won’t speak to me for the next couple of days which I deserve. I need help ............

OP posts:
EllJ · 20/04/2018 22:48

Your decision to work to help support your family does not mean you are choosing Work over your DH. Work is part of life and your choice to take a promotion to better your career is completely reasonable in my opinion. If he works Monday to Friday there is very little choice for you but to work weekends. The one and only problem that stood out to me on reading your post is that he is being completely unreasonable. He sounds controlling and manipulative. You do not deserve silent treatment for going out and earning a living, and it seems to me that the only reason you've lied is to protect yourself. I'm not sure what my advice is, but please take a step back and consider how to handle this longer term, for you and your DCs sake

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