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Wwyd? Really need some advice

3 replies

Noodlee · 19/04/2018 11:36

So my boyfriend, 6 month old and I live with my dad. My sister, her partner and I live here too. So the house is very crowded. My boyfriend has started doing his driving lessons. He is 21 and I am 20. He has just started a new job part time and soon I will be starting a part time job too, just waiting on documents.

The wwyd is that he wants to get a car first and I want to move out first.

I want to move out because the house is small and crowded. No matter how much you clean it it will always feel dirty. There is also a lot of tension in the house. We don't trust my sister and her boyfriend with our lo as he is very angry and shouts at their 21 month old and my sister isn't the best with safety (leaves him in the bath,garden by himself,doesn't strap him into the high chair...) and that causes tension as they keep asking if they can mind her and we keep putting it off saying no. My partner also feels that my sister's partner gets too involved with our lo by always wanting cuddles and getting annoyed when we say no, they take her dummy out of her mouth when we out it in saying she doesn't need it...etc. They are also so dirty like not cleaning out the bath after they go for one, let's their lo run around naked so he pees and poos all over the floor (they do clean it up),leaving cigarette filters all over the place,leaving shoes and cans and jackets all over the house...you get the idea. I don't want out lo crawling around in this house and I want our own space. We get on well with my dad but my sister and partner dont get on well with him because of the way my sisters partner treats my sister and nephew (so that causes tension).

My partner wants to get a car first as his travel to work is 1 hour long and if he drove it would be just under half an hour. Now that he has started his lessons he loves being behind the wheel and feels that we would have a lot more freedom not having to rely on public transport and being able to go out easier and for longer and to drive to places and have nice days out going further distances. He feels it would give us more of a life.

He is set on car but I really want to move out. I would love some opinions on what people think is best to do first because we can't decide and would love some advice

OP posts:
AjasLipstick · 19/04/2018 11:56

God you need to move! It sounds awful! Your instincts need to be listened to OP....MOVE. Don't let your boyfriend's desire to drive top your need to move.

You could move close to where his job is?

bakingdemon · 19/04/2018 12:07

Definitely move out first! That sounds like an absolute nightmare. You need your own space.

Itwontrainallthetime · 28/04/2018 20:55

I know how you feel we all lived under one roof and although it wasn't as bad as your situation we got a car first thinking it would be good having the freedom to get out of the house and go where we wanted. When we had our son tensions were worse than ever and it isn't fair on the child.

If I was you I would move it will be hard work having to pay bills and run a house but trust me it will be worth it and worth it for both your sanity.

I love my family but it's only me and my hubby that has moved out and I could never go back to living there far to stressful.

Hope you get things sorted.

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