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Separated - a tale of two cities

6 replies

thepartysover · 17/04/2018 20:47

Hello all.

Here's the short version. My ex and I are separated. We have two children. We currently both live in the same borough of the same city, where the children also go to school. We share parenting 50/50. My ex paid for / owned the house (I gave up work to look after the children) and has remained there, moving his new partner and her child in. I now rent somewhere, which is massively unaffordable for me. I have met someone new too and would I like to move to move in with them, 300 miles away. It would give me more stability on lots of levels but I (naturally) have some concerns.

  • Would changing schools have a detrimental effect on the children?
  • Would less regular contact with one parent have a detrimental effect on the children?
  • If I was the 'absent' parent, how would I cope?

I hope this doesn't sound selfish but I do feel like I'm being held hostage in a city that I can't afford to live in (nor do I particularly want to live in). I want to be the best parent I can to my kids which means being happy and secure in my own situation... but can't honestly see an ideal outcome. I would really welcome experiences of those who have been in a similar situation / advice, as well as answers to the more direct WWYD question.

Thank you.

OP posts:
mimibunz · 17/04/2018 20:50

How old are your children?

Cabininthewoods69 · 17/04/2018 20:50

You need to do what's best for you also. Just make the effort for kids to see there dad.

SavoyCabbage · 17/04/2018 20:54

I think moving 300miles away and moving in with someone and your children leaving their school, friends and father all at once is too much happening at once. And I say this as someone who moved their dc from one side of the world to another. Twice.

How long have you been in your new relationship?

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thepartysover · 17/04/2018 21:16

We've been together a year... the kids are 4 and 7. I don't think it would be possible for it to happen all at once, and in reality I think it will be another year before I actually move. (But I'm trying to weigh up the best options / prepare myself for the inevitable "discussion" with the kids' dad. We do not have a good relationship.)

OP posts:
thepartysover · 17/04/2018 21:17

Thanks everyone so far. Knowing that this doesn't seem like a completely mad prospect means a lot.

OP posts:
LemonSqueezy0 · 22/04/2018 15:38

He could take you to court to try to stop you, so I'd look into it alot more before setting any plans in motion.

Hope things work out.

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