Steralisation?

[CollyWombles]

My DH and I have made a decision that we won't have children. I already have 4dc, he has none but insists he feels like my 4 are his too and he does not want any of his own. Two of my children are SN.

I don't feel right asking him to have a vasectomy as noone knows what the future holds and if we were to split for any reason, he may feel differently about having his own children.

So I think it's me that needs to consider steralisation. This is where the problem lies.

I have health anxiety and due to a traumatic experience when I was 4 years old, I am absolutely terrified of general anesthetics. The thought of being made to go to sleep really frightens me. Pathetic I know but it's genuine fear.

I have PMDD and react to progesterone, the only contraception that doesn't affect the PMDD is the mini pill which obviously doesn't guarantee no pregnancies.

What would you do in my situation?

Have him get a vasectomy. Nothing wrong with a man deciding he doesn't want children. You don't need to go through major surgery and all that entails.

I believe female sterilisation can be done under a local anaesthetic, for some of the methods. Would that help?

Yes definitely teeny, I can handle any procedure as long as I'm awake and aware of what's going on. If it could be done locally that would be no problem.

I won't ask DH to have a vasectomy, I just don't think it's right to do that. He may not want children with me due to how many there are already, but that's not to say that we will be together forever and if we were to split, he might change his mind.

At least ask him about it. He may be sure that he doesn't want any more kids irrespective of whether you stay together as a couple.

Have you considered having a Mirena coil? If they suit you they last a long time.

I've asked him about it, he would do it but would prefer not to.

I've had the mirena coil, it worked great but unfortunately took over 6 appointments to finally remove it at hospital, my womb is very sharply tilted and the strings weren't just coiled around the tip of the mirena, they had completely reversed and went up into my uterus. The advice is not to have another.

Have you discussed sterilisation options with your doctor? To me, that would be the first step. As pp has said there may well be a way of doing it without a full GA. I would make an appointment and ask for a referral. With 4 DCs already I doubt they would turn you down.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/female-sterilisation/

I think it may depend on your medical history but a GP appt is your first step.

I’ve also found hypnotherapy very useful for health anxiety ( in my case birth related)