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Mum has turned family against me

6 replies

Angry02 · 12/04/2018 05:57

I'm pregnant with my second child. Knowing that I have to have a c-section I asked my mum for some help after the baby was born. She agreed and everything was settled and then she announced she had booked a holiday and was planning to look after my brother's gfs child during the time she had agreed to help me out. This isn't unusual behaviour for her, she is incredibly selfish and normally to keep the peace I just ignore it but I feel that she has let me down. I confronted her about it only to be accused of using her like a maid and a nanny. She does very little for us. She sees my child always in my house while we cook her dinner and run round after her. She never volunteers to help us out or take my child out for the afternoon or anything. We pointed this out to her and she responded by calling my husband an unfit father and telling us that the home we provide isn't fit for our children. What is worse is that she has gone to all my family members spreading lies and shit stirring and my whole family has ostracised me. I am so angry at all of them. I wish I could just cut them all out to be honest but I feel that my child should not be denied access to his grandma. I don't know how to let go of the anger and move on. It is putting a black cloud over my pregnancy and the stress of dealing with it has made me quite ill. I've been admitted into hospital a few times now and I feel certain that the stress of dealing with this is the cause. How do I move on and stop letting it affect me?

OP posts:
Idontdowindows · 13/04/2018 13:04

You child doesn't need a grandmother that behaves like that.

You're not denying your child access to his grandma, you're cutting a toxic person out of his life.

Now it's you, but once he's a bit bigger, your boy is going to be the subject of this kind of behaviour.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 13/04/2018 15:03

Totally agree with what idontdowindows said. She sounds vile! And your family sound like a bunch of drama llamas.

Could your MIL help out after new LO arrives?

Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well with no more trips to hospital. Flowers

PositivelyPERF · 13/04/2018 15:07

Do you really want that horrible woman influencing your children? What are you going to do when she starts bad mouthing you in front of your children or trying to turn them against you? NOTE I do mean WHEN not if.

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Butterymuffin · 13/04/2018 15:08

Your child isn't going to benefit from access to a crappy grandparent. Sad that your family have been deceived by her, but in that case they don't sound much cop either. What are your husband's family like? Can you lean on them instead?

Aprilmightbemynewname · 13/04/2018 15:09

My dc manage more than well without a dgm.
Your job is to protect them from such people!!
Ignore and move on.
Nc is the best way forward imo /e.

Angry02 · 13/04/2018 18:54

Thanks for your replies. My husband's parents passed away when he was younger and he doesn't have much family at all. I have tried cutting them out but I don't want to lose contact with my nieces and nephews. My sister in law is actually really nice and she keeps saying what a good grandma my mother has been to her kids. I just want them all to stop and leave me to enjoy some of my pregnancy.

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