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Original poster

Teenage babysitter messed up

24 replies

Knitjob · 10/04/2018 13:11

We've had a young mad, just turned 18, babysit for us a few times. I know his mum quite well, that's how we got to know him.
Kids have always been happy with him, he's got them to bed, tidied up the toys, no problems.
One time he was half an hour late, I had to phone him and he'd forgotten. Otherwise he's always been on time.
Last week he was due to come round, half an hour before he called to say he couldn't come. Some half-baked story about being far away and his mum not answering the phone to come and pick him up.
I saw his mum afterwards and she was very apologetic and embarrassed. Didn't make any excuses for him or anything, handled it really well.
Anyway, he has texted me to apologise and offered to babysit for us for free sometime.

I'm not sure what to do. I have other people who can babysit (dh works away a lot so I have made a point of having plenty people to ask) so I don't need him. I need people I know will turn up.

Option 1- just leave it. I can't be bothered with the hassle and unreliability. But this is rude, isn't it?

Option 2- say thanks for apologising but I can't use you again

Option 3- say thanks, I will text you when I need you, then don't text him

Option 4- do the decent thing and give him another chance, arrange for him to come and babysit again. What if this is my son being an idiot in a few years time and I want one of my pals to give him another chance?

WWYD?

OP posts:

Original poster

Knitjob · 10/04/2018 13:12

Young man obviously, not young mad. He is not at all mad.

OP posts:

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 10/04/2018 13:16

I think you’re being overly harsh on a just turned 18 year old. Babysitting is a casual arrangement, he let you know he wasn’t coming, albeit with not very much notice. However he’s not your employee. Just use someone else if you have to.

windchimesabotage · 10/04/2018 13:21

Option 3

A teen babysitting is generally considered a pretty casual set up. Hes not long out of childhood himself. If you want a serious and reliable babysitter then hire and actual adult who relies on the money not a teen doing it for a bit of cash in hand. Not that some teens arent great babysitters but I think you always do run the risk of them not turning up because they have something better to do.

So I think its fine not to use him again if you want to start using a reliable older person but I think you should not be rude about it as its just a teen being a teen really.

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Families

yellowisthecolour · 10/04/2018 13:23

My initial thought was Option 3. But actually he's young, we all make mistakes and he's trying to make amends - so Option 4, and just explain again how much notice you need if he's unable to make it as it makes things difficult for you etc.

FrancisCrawford · 10/04/2018 13:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

strawberrysparkle · 10/04/2018 13:26

Book him again but a few hours before he's due to come over can you not text to confirm arrangements? That way if he can't come you've got enough time to try to arrange something else.

At 18 he just won't realise how annoying it is.

upsideup · 10/04/2018 13:26

I would do option four. He's young, hes been a good babysitter overall apart from this incident and he deserves another chance.

flowery · 10/04/2018 13:26

Option 3. We had v similar scenario. We just stopped asking him and have found someone else.

letsdolunch321 · 10/04/2018 13:29

Option 3 is what I would do.

Scabetty · 10/04/2018 13:31

My sister did this so I stepped in. They used me from then on. I would do option 4 and say as he apologised I am giving him another chance.

Kate123cl · 10/04/2018 13:31

Definitely option 3 :)

KarmaStar · 10/04/2018 13:35

He is only 18,he cancelled one time,you don't know why.He apologised.
You know him and his mum and your dc like him and that is important,to keep changing the baby sitter every time one cancelled on you will be unsettling for them.
I'd definitely use him next time I went out.

PlausibleSuit · 10/04/2018 13:40

Given that he contacted you to apologise - even if it was by text, not a given for 18 year olds - I'd do #4, but I'd tell him that two unreliable evenings meant he almost lost the gig permanently, and a third would mean I wouldn't ask him again.

Neolara · 10/04/2018 14:01

I wouldn't use him again if I had other options . Yes, he's only 18, but being reliable is pretty high up the babysitter job description IMO. I'm surprised so many people say it's OK / normal for babysitters to be so flakey. Maybe it's because the unreliable ones keep being given second chances?

Maryann1975 · 10/04/2018 14:05

Option three. I used to babysit a lot as a teenager and never let anyone down, so am surprised people think it’s normal or ok. I wouldn’t want to make a scene with him though, just put it down to one of those things and find someone else to babysit for you.

lljkk · 10/04/2018 14:07

I'd go for Option 4. I have a begat a few idiots & he's only let you down once.

With no emotions, just tell him it will be Option 2 if he lets you down for seemingly no reason again.

Original poster

Knitjob · 10/04/2018 14:22

I don't think teen babysitting is a casual thing. How is it any different from a part time job? At 18 lots of young people are in a full time job. Do you just not turn up for that? I pay him a good rate, not just a few quid. He knew I was going somewhere.

From what he said and what his mum said, he was at a friend's some distance away and tried to get his mum to pick him up without giving her any notice. When he couldn't get in touch with her he just cancelled. Didn't think to call a taxi or anything.

I will reply to say thanks for apologising and I will ask him another time. Then just see how I feel.

OP posts:

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 10/04/2018 18:26

I don't think teen babysitting is a casual thing. How is it any different from a part time job?

Do you have a contract if employment with him?
Do you pay his tax and NI?
Do you pay holiday, sick and paternity allowance?
Does he have to agree to certain shifts or does he only come if he’s free?

Of course it’s a bloody casual arrangement! Stop being so ridiculous!

MrsTylerJoseph · 10/04/2018 18:29

If you think he’s learnt a lesson (of making sure he has a lift back before going out) then option 4.

Addictedtohavingbabies · 10/04/2018 18:35

I agree with Georgie. Just use someone else, it's not the big deal you are making it out to be.

Crazyladee · 10/04/2018 18:52

*Didn't think to call a taxi or anything
*
Given you have already stated that he was at a friends place some distance away, why would you expect him to pay a fortune for a taxi to get to you?

I would go for option 4 and give him another chance. He has never stuffed up before, he has apologised and offered to babysit free of charge, which in my opinion is going above and beyond. I can't see he can do anymore for one mistake.

Agree with the other posters that babysitting is a casual arrangement. I babysat round the clock when I was a teenager and regularly got a phone call at an hours notice cancelling me when the parents didn't feel like going out. Equally, there were times when I needed to cancel with very little notice.

Hat453 · 10/04/2018 18:59

If it’s just the once I’d try again and give him a chance

I’m having similar issues but have been let down 3 times (for genuine reasons apparently and I have no reason to doubt this) but not sure now whether to call it a day

SandAndSea · 10/04/2018 19:06

From your post, I'm guessing that you would prefer not to use him again. You could just text him something brief but nice, eg: "Thanks! Much appreciated." Then leave it there.

Original poster

Knitjob · 10/04/2018 22:08

I have replied saying thanks for apologising and we will give him a call another time. I probably will call him again, he's young, he's learning how the world works.

But he also made a commitment then cancelled because he hadn't organised a lift from his mum or checked out when he would need to leave to catch a bus.

That's unreliable whether you get a payslip or not. I'm surprised so many people think it's ok.

Does he have to agree to certain shifts or does he only come if he’s free

I ask him in advance if he's free, he says yes, he turns up when he says he will and he gets paid. Or he says sorry I'm not free and I ask someone else.

He shouldn't say 'yes I'm free, I will be there' then just not bother because he wants to stay at his pals on the xbox a bit longer.

OP posts:

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