Or, rather what would you have said?

[IamHappy1976]

DD is a very tall 6 year old. Almost the youngest and tallest in her year group. She is active, eats a wide variety of foods and there isn't an ounce of surplus fat on her.
Today we were running late for lunch and decided to eat in the local supermarket cafe. DD chose the same as me. A little breakfast (1 sausage, bacon, fried egg, hash brown, beans and 2 rounds of toast). As DD was tucking in a passing customer stopped and told me off along the lines of "You need to be careful, she doesn't need all that food". I replied that DD would stop eating when she was full. The customer sort of tutted and walked off!
In the end DD left half a slice of toast and the hash brown but she's been as happy as a pig in muck all afternoon with a full belly.
Anyway, what would you have said/done? Am struggling with this woman's rudeness!

I would have said ‘did anyone ask for your opinion ‘ , which is my response to most unwanted comments from strangers .

I'd have been so shocked I would have given a rubbish response. Then I'd have been thinking about it all morning! Don't worry about it. You and your kid had a happy time. They did not.

I'd of said 'you want to be careful what you say to people you don't even know' but I am pre menstrual today

I would have given her The Look and ignored her to be honest. Cheeky cow.

I wouldn't have even engaged.

I'd have just blanked them. I had a woman make a judgemental comment about me putting salt on DD's chips in Morrison's cafe, I totally ignored her and didn't even glance her way. Other people's stupid opinions aren't worth giving any head space to.

If have asked her what exactly it had to do with her and depending on what she said next would have likely told her to fuck off.

Who the hell asked your opinion?

It was my fil who said this to my dd and shes the same tall and skinny!!! I just told him she was perfect and those types of comnent are not helpful and can lead to dd having issues with food- hes not commented since!

I'd have ignored them. Possibly rolled my eyes at the DD and laughed.

You can't argue with stupid. Don't waste your energy trying.

Thanks! 2 very different responses there lol. I'm used to family and friends (who don't comment any more as they know she doesn't overeat but needs lots of fuel to keep her going) being amazed at just how much she eats.
As you say Jobbie, it was just the random judgement of an absolute stranger knocked me for 6!
I'm quite shy, Floral. I might practise that for the next time someone butts in...

Well if I’d have had the presence of mind to come back with what you said, I’d have been very happy!

Basically, you got it covered :)

Although I’ve also realised that my confused look and fading pleasant half smile is also good though I feel a complete blank minded idiot at the time! After all, no come back is necessary to people who are only saying he’d things to spout off their own closed mindedness or work off their own aggression. It’s not exactly a forum for open minded debate.

For what it’s worth you are teaching your child the list art of being in touch with their body. That’s good! And that’s what I’m doing with my DS, after good intentioned but harmful behaviour ended up with my DS losing 10% of his body weight a couple of years ago - a nanny was literally force feeding him at the same time as loading all sorts of emotional bollocks onto him like ‘if you don’t clear your plate that means you don’t love me’ crap. Grrrr!!! I was so angry when I got to the bottom of it. DS reacted by shutting down all eating and taking back control of what went into his body... unsurprisingly. Me and the GP were growing increasingly panicked at the unexplained weight loss... as I’d spoken to the nanny at length and she’d lied to me (she was so culturally embedded that she thought I was a terrible mother for not behaving like her... ffs). Discovered the cause when she went off sick so I was doing ds breakfasts all week, and DS finally told me what breakfasts were normally like. So, one fired nanny and one incredibly strong set of ‘house food rules’ later, I have a very healthy boy with no eating issues, but by God it was terrifying at the time. Our food rules are simple.

1. Ds needs to try a bit of every type of food on his plate,
2. Then... Ds is in charge, as it’s his body. he has to listen to his stomach, or ask his tummy what it feels like. As only he tell what his body needs to eat and when he’s full etc. oh and finally...
3. That’s it. Nothing else. And over the years I’ve found it really interesting that some people (not all of course, just a loud few!), find it very difficult to leave children alone to make their own decision around food consumption, like it’s very scary to step back, as if children will just Do It Wrong unless tightly controlled. Rather like your annoying commenter person!

But after just stepping back, and letting go of the control, my DS at least, eats an awful lot better when he’s in charge and in control of what he’s putting in his body.

Anyway, you responded really well, don’t worry about it.

Thanks, I am wonko - am happy you have found the confidence to say what you think :-) one day I will express myself and the world will implode!!!!
I like the confused look, Shit! I have some events coming up when that will come in handy. Sorry your nanny didn't work out. Better luck next time x

I would have totally let myself down & told her to fuck off & mind her own business. Not something I'd be proud of but likely the only thing I'd have thought to say on the spur of the moment.