Neighbor's Constant Whining Child

[SapienteEY1]

Hi Everyone

I moved into a new house a little less than a year ago and my neighbors moved in about two months after me.

They have a three year old little girl who constantly: whinges, whines, cries, screams and screeches. When i say constant, i mean - constant!

The child is still screeching away and whining at 1am most mornings. There is no routine in place and parenting is totally ineffective. I can hear them repeat the same meaningless statements to the child, then ignoring her for a while, then repeating the same statements that are more of a plea and beg. Then they resort to yelling and all it does is make her scream even more. Their interaction with her are always pitched above her whining to try and drown her out but it only makes her raise her volume and just adds confirms to the child the need to communicate with shouting and crying.

I work with very young children in a professional capacity but don't have any children of my own. I chose no to have to listen to this whinging and whining. Although having said that, most children do not normally make this incessant whinging. I have seen the child and there are no additional needs there (and please, i know you don't know the ins and outs - but if a special need was causing the extent of whining that goes on, then there would be some sort of significant need that i could observed, but there isn't) It is purely just ineffective parenting.

I have spoken to the neighbors on occasion and they seem really nice. It's just mum, dad and the child. I often work from home and the crying is continual throughout the day too. When people come to visit they are shocked at how persistent this child is. I don't have any safeguarding concerns as everything i have observed and heard is just pointing to ineffective parenting. I have heard the couple arguing with the child obviously present, but no family or relationship is without this.

Every single morning i am awoke early with shrill whaling and crying. I chose not to have children because i don't ant to have to put up with this. I don't expect never to hear other people's children, it's a part of life that yo will hear your neighbors. However, this is so bad and i'm starting to lose my temper after about 10 months of this incessant crying and whining. There is this CONSTANT noise like the cooing of pigeon in between hours of constant screaming and crying. The child has learned this as an effective way of communicating because the parents respond - and so, of course, it is indeed effective.

Please do not advise me to offer help - imagine if your neighbor came round to you and offered to help you parent your child. I just simply don't know what to do because they really do need help - even if not for their own sake, for the sake of the child.

It is hard, i know, but it has to be tackled in some way as it is not fair to have to live like this.

What would yo do if you were me?

I thought you may have been my neighbour for a sec. My first was like this. Nothing wrong with our parenting as evidenced by calm, subsequent children which were parented the same, but my eldest was screamy and whiny from birth.

My sympathies, as it was a terrible for us and probably our neighbours to listen to and yes, on occasion I raised my voice (I challenge anyone else not to, it was pure, ongoing hell on earth trying to deal with that day and night).

My child grew out of it at around three or four. With a bit of luck your neighbours child will do the same. In the meantime, earplugs, and be thankful it's not your child.

There will be a reason that child doesn't go to nursery.

And I can think of 2 completely separate reasons why a 3 year old child would be continually whining instead of using speech, and why the parents may resort to a non abusive raised voice. I'm surprised you, with your family background in professional charity child helping, cannot.

I really feel for you. This would drive me mad and is exactly why I moved to a detached house. At least it will be better in the daytime when she goes to school, assuming they don't home school her!

I live in a terraced house and have 3 kids. I often think of the neighbours when my lot make a racket. Mind you they are always quiet between 8pm and 7am.

It sounds like you're going to have to grin and bear it - at least if the child is starting school soon you'll have a bit of peace during the day. It may also help her (it's a her, right?) to sleep better at night if she's tired out from school.

Most things with kids is a phase, it won't be forever!