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Original poster

DS wants to know why he is sometimes naughty!

15 replies

asbigastheworld · 02/04/2018 20:46

More of a What Would You Say really. DS (3 and a half) asked me tonight why he was sometimes naughty! He's never really bad but this evening he was over excited, over noisy and over tired having been at a local Easter Egg Hunt with lots of other excited shouty children and chocolate and ran amok when he got in wanting toys out when it was bedtime etc.

I wasn't sure what to say but explained that sometimes, when you're three, you get over excited. He then asked how he could stop being shouty!

Did your kids ask this and if so, what did you say?

OP posts:

userofthiswebsite · 02/04/2018 20:47

That's so sweet.

sirlee66 · 02/04/2018 20:49

That his behaviour is a choice (unless medically it isn't) and he can choose to be naughty or not.

Original poster

asbigastheworld · 02/04/2018 20:52

userofthiswebsite I know! That's why I don't want to wreck the moment.

sirlee66 I don't know if he'd understand that. I think in the heat of the moment emotions take over when you're three!

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OrionsAccessory · 02/04/2018 20:53

Explain to him the reasons that he was overwhelmed and talk with him about how you can help him to avoid feeling so out of control again. I do a bit of deep breathing or guided meditation with my kids when it all gets a bit much. Taking time out of busy situations helps to. I don't use the word naughty but we talk a lot about emotions and how we make decisions. We have a book called Emotionary which they like to look through if one of us has had a day of Big Feelings!

Original poster

asbigastheworld · 02/04/2018 20:59

OrionsAccessory Thank you, I did say take a deep breath but I LOVE the thought of guided meditation. DS would be into that. Have you any resources, anything on the internet that is specifically for children that you would recommend?

OP posts:

Pashazade · 02/04/2018 21:16

"Sitting still like a frog" is a good book for guided meditation. There's another one with a ladybird in it but can't find the title right now!

OrionsAccessory · 02/04/2018 21:33

There are loads on YouTube but I cant remember where i came across the two my kids like best! I'll try to describe them for you though.

take a deep breath in. imagine that the air you breathe in is a calming sparkly colour (I'll use blue here but the child can choose a colour) the sparkly blue comes into your lungs and spreads around your body. As you breathe out imagine you're breathing out the colour of your anger/upset/worry. Keep doing this until you've breathed out all of the "bad" colour and your whole body is filled with calm sparkly blue. Then you can start breathing the blue out into the air around you so that child is full of calm and the place youre in can become full of calm too. Once you've used it a few times you can adapt it and make a shorter version for when youre out and about.

wiggle your toes... then let them relax. Feel the muscles in your legs, make them tense (or tight, or whatever word work's for you both!)... and let them relax and go soft. Then continue for all the body parts right up to the head. You can talk about specific places that he feels anger or worry or excitement too, so he feels and acknowledges the emotion then can let it go. Again, once you've had a bit of practice you can use a shorter version when you're in public.

I hope that makes sense and maybe helps a bit too! He sounds like a lovely, insightful lad.

BrownTurkey · 02/04/2018 21:45

‘As you grow up, you will learn to calm yourself down and think before you act - you’re doing great at it already’

evaseven · 02/04/2018 21:55

Sorry just placemarking for this excellent advice!

Original poster

asbigastheworld · 02/04/2018 21:56

Thanks all. Will have a chat with him tomorrow :)

OP posts:

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 02/04/2018 21:57

I'd say, "Because you're tired. Let's do something calming before bed."

DN4GeekinDerby · 02/04/2018 22:43

That is very sweet of him asbigastheworld. Smiling Mind is another place with guided meditations that you might like. My kids quite enjoy them.

With mine, I've liked making it something they can practice. "It's hard not to shout/push/tell sometimes when you're being naughty if it's also fun/whatever, it gets easier as you practice doing it." and then ask them for practice ideas.

Apileofballyhoo · 02/04/2018 22:54

Sounds like an amazing little boy who wants to please. I think I wouldn't label behaviour as 'naughty' for a while, instead using 'too loud for night time' 'too rough for those toys' and that kind of thing - be specific rather than 'naughty'. Just in case it's bothering him and confusing him a bit. It seems he doesn't want to be naughty at all, and he's asking for your help. Very clever and emotionally tuned in boy, I'd say!

Original poster

asbigastheworld · 08/04/2018 20:43

Got the frog book! Will have a read tonight

OrionsAccessory Have done the exercises with DS - thank you so much

OP posts:

Dancingleopard · 08/04/2018 20:44

Ah I like brownturkeys response

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