If you thought dhs child had adhd?

[frustrated18]

I'm not going into reasons why as I don't feel it's right too, he's my step son but not my son.

I do have reasons to believe he possibly has adhd. Especially over the last few months.

I'm a parent of an autistic child and with experience and what I've been through, I feel I can see it.

I don't plan on saying anything for another 6 months as what he is going through could be a phase and I think it needs longer time. He's still quite young but there are some things I don't see him growing out of. I know I well and truly could be wrong here and I don't want to get anything wrong. I've been in his life for 4 years and I've spent the last 2 years thinking this. The last 5/6 months he has gone down hill massively.

I don't even know how to go about mentioning anything. His mother is having an extremely difficult time with him at the moment.

I just really do have the child's best interests at heart but I also do not want to over step the mark.

I would definitely say something. As gently as possible, but I would.

I need to plan what I'm going to say as it's going to be very hard. The last couple of weeks his mum has really had a hard time with him, to the point he's made her late for work as he refuses to get dressed etc.

We have had him this weekend and...let's just say it's been the most challenging one yet. Some behaviours he shows are not just typical of that age.

I don't blame his mum for not picking up on this, if I hadn't had a child with additional needs, I'd also be thinking it's just a phase (a very long phase) and he would hopefully grow out of it.

I just want to see what September brings as he will be starting a new part of the school which will bring new rules, more focused on work etc etc and see if that makes a difference. At the moment he isn't very well behaved in school as his concentration isn't there.

Me and his mum haven't always seen eye to eye so if I get this wrong....let's just say it isn't going to go down well

Definitely don't bring it up with his mum. Bring it up with your husband, his father, as gently as you can, perhaps using the example of your son with ASD. And make it clear that you're not trying to diagnose or label him yourself, but that you think there are some signals that perhaps need picking up on.
If you husband accepts this, then make sure he talks to the ex directly, and doesn't mention it was your idea, since there was prior tension.

The waiting list for diagnosis can be so long that one of his parents should talk to school, GP, etc.. as soon as possible.