I wonder if someone can give me some perspective on what I find an odd situation, but will have to do something sensible about.
Neighbour's ex-gf, who lived with said neighbour until a year ago always had a soft spot for my DDs (now 4 and 7) and would often bring them treats and little gifts. She would also regularly offer to take them for days out, to babysit them and have them for sleepovers, all of which I always said no to as they were far too little, we weren't close, she's no experience of children, and neighbour and gf used to drink a lot and fight like cat and dog. I did use to think it was a bit peculiar that she kept suggesting stuff like that, but didn't dwell on it. She had had some fertility related issues, so I felt a bit bad for her, if anything.
This weekend she is staying with neighbour for a few days and messaged me to ask to come over to say hello. We had a brief chat over a cup of tea, during which she asked about our plans for the next couple of days. I had to empty the washing machine, so she went in to the living room where the DDs were playing and I overheard her ask them whether they would like her and neighbour to take them out to a particular venue on Sun or Mon. DD1 came streaking in to see me, really excited, as venue is lovely and lots of fun. I had to be the bad one, reiterating that we had already made plans with family. Ex-gf kept saying how she'd got a kids-go-free deal, how lovely it would be, and if not Sun then perhaps Mon? I already had a surprise activity planned for Mon, but didn't want to spoil it just to explain to her, while DDs were in earshot. Meanwhile, DD1 starts to cry, saying our plans won't be anywhere near as nice, etc. I politely said I'd get back to her, things got a bit awkward and she left. DD1 disappeared upstairs in tears.
I felt irritated that she would 'go behind my back' and try to make arrangements with my very young DC whom she hasn't seen for a year, especially knowing that we already had plans, getting their hopes up. And for the record, while our neighbour is a nice enough bloke, there is no way that he gives a monkeys about taking our DCs out for a day, so it absolutely isn't about him.
When I went to check on DD1 in her room, there was a big bunch of flowers in a pint glass which DD1 said ex-gf had given her. This surprised me even more; I didn't see any flowers when I let her in, which seems weird to me -if you visit a family you haven't seen for a year, surely you give any flowers you have brought with you to the adult who lets you in, as opposed to somehow hiding them in order to give them to a 7 yo kid to take straight to their room? Normally DD1 would come bouncing in to show me any gift / treat someone had given her, but she didn't say a word about the flowers.
I can't tell whether I am over-thinking this, or whether it really is a bit weird. DP, who is a paranoid sort, says he doesn't want her in the house again.
I ought to get back to her about Mon, and could either say: "I didn't want to say in front of the DCs, but we have a surprise activity planned, so they won't be able to come out with you, but thank you for thinking of them." or "Back off!" or something in between. WWYD?