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Am I in love with someone else or will it pass?

3 replies

Horribleperson11 · 23/03/2018 23:06

DP and I have been together for a couple of years. House together etc. Not married and no children.
Have had a lot of financial and work strain recently. Everything seems to go wrong for us and I feel we have drifted. I want desperately for us to be back in love and be like we were a year and a half ago.
However.. I’ve recently been introduced to someone through DP. I have definitely developed feelings for them and can’t stop thinking about them. I’m wondering if this will pass and it’s just a normal part of a long term relationship and I’m overthinking as I feel absolutely horrendous about it. Can’t stop crying, every time I look at DP I feel awful and like I have betrayed him. Nothing has happened and I don’t think it ever would. The other person lives overseas, we don’t chat or anything only when we have met up with them as a couple. I don’t know if I’m just developing feelings for the first person I get along with because I feel so alone and DP and I have had a hard time recently.

What would you do? Please don’t tell me how horrible and selfish I am as I already know. All I want is to feel in love with DP again and stop thinking about this other person!

OP posts:
Horribleperson11 · 23/03/2018 23:07

Just to clarify when I say I don’t think anything will happen I don’t mean an affair - I would never ever do that. I just mean if DP and I were to split nothing would happen with this person and I’m pretty sure this is a completely one sided crush.

OP posts:
Lexjo · 24/03/2018 14:08

I don't think you're horrible or selfish. You're just a human. We cannot help the feelings we have. But as humans we are able to manage the reaction to our feelings. You shouldn't feel guilty. You should just acknowledge that you have feelings for this guy, but you are choosing not to do anything about it. Which is the way it should be!

In the meantime, focus on doing nice stuff with your DP. Book a night away together and try to reconnect. Put down the phones in the evening. Go to bed at the same time. All these little things do add up.

Good luck and let the guilt go. You're fine Smile

Purplelipgloss · 24/03/2018 23:11

This happened to me and it passed. I put it down to 'the grass is always greener on the other side' type thinking.

It is true that your doing absolutely nothing wrong. Thoughts - if you keep them to yourself, never harmed anyone.

I say just enjoy this crush you have and fantasies. But - work on your relationship at the same time. I always found that spending nights away from my DP helped bring a bit of romance back.

Good luck and don't over-think this.

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