Please advise me -birth

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Hi all,
After two years of fertility treatment my darling DD was tragically stillborn last year.

By some miracle I managed to fall pregnant naturally, and I'm now 16 weeks pregnant (and terrified.)

The hospital are being wonderful and have said I can chose whatever birth I want post 37 weeks, but I'm just going round in circles and could really do with advice. Essentially I want whatever is safest for the baby, I don't care about me.

So would you have a c section at 37 weeks and just get her out safely? Though apparently this can have some risks for their lungs.
Or induction and natural birth at a certain gestation? But what if the cord is round her neck etc etc?
Or wait to go naturally? But what if the placenta fails before 40 weeks?
Or something else?!!

I'm just so scared as I don't think I'd survive another baby dying and I desperately want to pick what's best for her.

Thank you

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I don't know about the stats in terms of safety but I would also consider your mental health. You might find it easier to have a date booked for a c section and know that baby will arrive that day.

I'm pretty sure that the safest way for babies to be born must be naturally on the day they choose to arrive. I had to have a c section as DD was breach and despite the fact that before that she was due to be induced at 38 weeks due to a blood disorder they refused to do the c section before 39 weeks because of the lungs issue so this must mean that c section before 39 weeks is not best for the health of your baby.

It's a lot to weigh up. I hope someone more helpful comes along soon!

Congratulations on your pregnancy and I’m really sorry about your DD.

If you at 37 weeks by ELCS or induction they can give you steroids to help the baby’s lungs. If you’re induced then a VB can help the lungs too, but an induction can end in a section anyway and an ELCS might be easier for you emotionally. If there’s a chance your placenta might fail then delivery at 37 weeks would likely be the safer option. What is your consultant recommending?

In case this helps a friend tragically had a still birth with her DS1, DS2 was conceived by IVF a year later and she had regular scans in the 3rd trimester and then plan was always that she wouldn’t go past 38 weeks. She wanted an induction and VB over a CS but in the end baby was breech so it was a CS anyway. Baby is now 6 months old and doing great.

Thanks both. No placenta issues thankfully but that doesn't mean I'm not scared that could change. The consultant is leaving it entirely up to me which is good and bad!!

That must be really difficult for you. Nobody can give you any certainty on births unfortunately but I do wonder whether the fact it is planned and booked that you might find an ELCS the best option for you. They recommended waiting until 39 weeks with DS3. When I was given a choice by my consultant with ds2 I asked her what she would do in my situation. She was honest and I went with her recommendation. If you are mentally and practically prepared for a c section and the weeks afterwards they can be a really positive experience.

Sorry for your loss

I’ve not been in your situation but just wondering if they found a particular reason for your DD’s stillbirth? As that would probably affect my decision if I was in your shoes. Ie you’ve mentioned cord and placenta - was it one of these issues last time and is it likely to occur again. That’s what my thought process would be I think.

She died of something called ventriculomegaly- essentially her brain hadn't developed and was filled with fluid. So she died at 26 weeks. We will know at 20 weeks if the same thing has happened again but as the post mortem showed it not to be genetic we would be incredibly unlucky.
Argh I'm just so scared of making the wrong choice. Personally I'd rather avoid a section but I can't help feeling like it would be the safest thing for her at about 38/39 weeks

Personally I wouldn’t chose induction. The stats on complications are not great. I always said I would refuse induction - if the situation was serious enough then I would be offered a section.

In your position I’d be weighing up ELCS vs waiting for baby to come naturally.

Sorry about your daughter.
Sadly, I have three friends who have been in your situation. Two had subsequent sections (one elective, one would have had to anyway) and the other chose induction. All at around 38 weeks I think.
I was induced with my DS at 38 weeks and it was very straightforward.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Can you talk in more detail with your doctor about the various options? 37 weeks is actually full term and it is rare for babies to have serious lung issues then. I developed complications towards the end of one of my pregnancies, was admitted and it was day-by-day decisions whether they would deliver or not. The second I hit 37 weeks 0 days, the doctors visibly relaxed and I had my baby delivered that day. I was told that at 37 weeks there is a small risk of lung issues but these are generally transient and respond well to treatment.

If I were you, I would not hesitate to have the 37 week section. I don't mean to be blunt but a section is a far more controlled and guaranteed delivery for your baby than the many unknowns and uncontrollable factors of VB. The majority of the risks of a section fall on you, very few on the baby. One of the biggest risks around sections is complications in subsequent pregnancies particularly if you have had multiple sections. From what you have said about your fertility struggles, (my apologies if I am wrong or if this sounds crass), it seems less likely that you would be in a position to consider the risks of planning several more children after a section, so some of those risks won't apply to you.

please talk again to your doctors. Explain what you have said here. Tell them that you want their opinion on which option they would recommend for you. Ask about the risks of the section at 37 weeks. I'd be very surprised if they wouldn't say section.

Thanks all.
If everything works out this is the only child we will be having, due to both the fertility issues and feeling like we can't go through this again.
The consultant was really open, but seemed to be pushing induction a bit more. Having read the responses on here I'm leaning towards a section between 37-38 weeks

OP I'm so sorry to hear about your dd.

I'm a health care worker and have had an induction with vaginal delivery and a planned section. If I was you I would have a section.

My understanding is that a section is safest for baby not withstanding the lung issues others have mentioned. I think elective sections are done a bit later than in the past to reduce the potential lung immaturity issues.

Good luck.

Oh OP. I'm so so sorry for your loss.

Can completely understand your need for caution so here's my tale.

I'm from a family of late bakers, 43/44 week pregnancies.

DC2 was a CS (my second) as they had concerns over movement.

At birth he had troubles breathing yet an APGAR of 9.

We were in for five days, back on day 12 with suspected sepsis.

Following a debrief with a senior midwife the conclusion was he was here too soon.

BUT

I'd go through it all again as he was here and safe and in my arms as opposed to in my tummy possibly in distress.

I would go for the CS but think about if you came from a line of late or early arrivers. If your family history is late births then maybe discuss potential daily monitoring from 37w?

Next time I will be asking to go to 41w this way.

I wish you all the very best and I hope this thread gives you some constructive ideas xx

Hi op. So sorry for the loss of your daughter.

My son was stillborn at 27weeks. I'm not pregnant at the moment but was last year and that ended in mmc at 14+2 but in the consultant appointment afterwards I was advised that any subsequent pregnancy would be delivered at 38 wks.

I'm not currently pregnant but am TTC and was thinking just this morning what kind of birth I would like. Like you, I'm not bothered about me I just want a baby here safe and worry about the chord etc.

I don't know much about the risks to baby of csection but for me it does seem like the most viable option.

A friend had a planned csection last year and coped really well and the recovery was brilliant too which has made it a more viable option to me as the recovery was the thing that previously would have put me off the most.

Congratulations on your new pregnancy.

Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply. Some incredibly useful responses for me to think about

And @DBoo I'm so sorry for your losses as well x

I'm nearly 30 now. And was born at 10+ weeks early, so were my sisters and brother. My sister was 28 weeks when born.
I really wish you all the very best xx