Many women have been where you are now - looking after children with no independent money.
You have two options: stay and find ways to make the relationship work; or leave.
If you decide to stay then I suggest you go to couplescounselling where you can work on ironing out these cyclical blips.
If you decide to stay then I would try and find some work so you are not totally reliant on him..all of us with kids have childcare problems - you just have to find a way of sorting it.
How old are your kids?
I presume the children are his? Are you married? Did you bring any money/assets to the relationship when you got together?
If you want to split then get yourself to a solicitor with all the information you can get ie current financial situation for you both, savings, pensions, mortgage details etc. A good solicitor will be able to advise you on what you could expect on seperation.
Gonon to gov website and find out what benefits, tax credits, working tax credits you can apply for as a single parent.
If the children are his then he has an obligation to provide for them whether you are married or not in the event of a split. Look at the CSA website and work out how much he would be expected to pay.
If you are married then in a relationship break up situation you are much more protected. Which is why if you have children with someone and give up work you should be married otherwiseyou are in a very vulnerable situation.
Arm yourself with as much information as possible then you can actually make informed decisions based on facts.
If you see a solicitor, go to Citizens Advice Buteau, check benefits situation, csa calculator you may find that in fact you'd be better off financially in your own.
Why is the loan out in your name? Why is it not in both names? Died you partner not give you access to joint money? If you are staying at home to bring up children then any money event is joint money.