WWYD - TA spreading misinformation

[thedishwasherdoesntemptyitself]

There is a TA at DD's school who is always giving out wrong information. This is not done maliciously. She just seems to get things wrong. Also, as she has a boy at the school who gets "special treatment" (nothing major... he always gets to sit with her at lunch, calls her "mum" rather than "mrs x" like the other children have to) she doesn't realise the rules that apply to those of us without children at the school.

For instance, her son was allowed to take a day off a week in Reception because she wasn't working that day and she told me I could pick and choose my days (as she had). I was later told that the children were expected to go in every day to get ready for Year 1.

Another incident, not to do with her being a teacher and a parent, just her getting it wrong, are on Grandparent's Day (day GPs are invited into school) the TA told me that it was "only for GPs"). DD doesn't have any GPs in the country, so she had no one to invite... but then I found out (too late) from another parent that friends and any family could go instead if wanted.

The latest is that a MD card making session that was held for the children could be attended by fathers. DH couldn't make it as he had to work. We arrived and found out that half the parents staying for it were mothers because the dads were at work. Luckily I could stay also but it would have saved a lot of worry (thinking all the dads would be there and DD would have no one) if I had known beforehand.

Some of this I think is pushy confident parents. They just say "Dad can't make it, I'm staying instead" and the school says nothing. But some of this is misinformation by the TA.

I have learned to check everything she says but it is getting tedious. This morning TA said that next week they would be making an Easter bonnet and could we all bring in a hat to decorate. As I left the building I said to a teacher that I was off to the shop to get some materials to make a hat over the weekend and was told I had plenty of time because that wasn't until the week after!

Anyway, my WWYD is do I say anything? This woman is coming from a good place, she just isn't very organised and it is getting frustrating now.

Sorry it's so long, bit of a vent

Why are you getting your information directly from her? Are there not letters home, notices up?

Letters are sent out. For instance the GPs Day one said it was an open day for GPs and explained what was happening on the day, arrival times etc. I asked next day whether it was just for GPs (because DD doesn't have any that could go) and was told yes, just GPs. Later I found out other parents had taken aunts uncles whoever... It didn't say this in the letter.

In terms of the part time attendance in reception, children can attend part time untill compulsory school age, which for children born in the spring term is the beginning of Y1. Its obviously best to work with the school, but ultimately the final decision is the parents untill CSA so she wasnt wrong about that point. The other things sound annoying, I'm surprised the school hasnt picked up on it and tried to address it, as presumably she will be casuing chaos for other families and staff?!

I’d not ask her anything directly. Ask the school office or teacher if you can.
But yes, it’s very unprofessional of her and the teacher she works with or her line manager should be more involved.

The school "frowns upon" not full time attendance in Reception, I realise that the law says they don't have to. The school is a business (private) and they want to get their money I suppose.

I think you need to seperate the two things in your head as they are building up to one big frustration rather than 2 smaller ones.

The first and main issue is the misinformation she gives you about your daughter’s day to day school life such as projects and events. You could mention it to the teacher or head, specifying that you know she means well but her facts can be a bit muddled.

The second “issue” is her parenting of DS to which I would just let her crack on if I were you and ignore it and any advice she gives you relating to that.

It’s annoying to get the wrong info but if you know someone is likely to be unreliable in that sense then I would just stop asking that person or check what they said with someone else. She must do it to everyone.

So the TA is quoting the same information that you are getting in writing from the school? That doesn't sound like misinformation.

Stop asking her stuff and talk to someone else.

CotswoldStrife It isn't the same information

Just stop asking her anything and ask the teacher directly or office staff.

MiddleClassProblem Yes, I'll try and sort out the stuff which she may be saying because of her "unique" experience at school and that of a TA.

There often isn't anyone else to ask or give out info. The teacher is there but there is always busy first thing.

Thanks all.

At my kids school the teachers day they ate "always available after school if you need anything" as they are so busy in the mornings. Could you check stuff out after not before school?

At pick up time there is even less time! Those that need to see the teacher (ie, the teacher wants to see them) take so long we would be hanging about for too long.

Thinking about it now I can see why the parents go their own way, why the mothers who want to attend the father's card making activity (for instance) do so regardless. I think my mistake is asking in the first place whether mothers are allowed, I should just be ballsy and do it like the other's do.

Can you drop the teacher an email when it's things like GPS being abroad. Our school was excellent at responding swiftly and asked to communicate this way before I get told off. Or do they have a planner that you can write notes in?

Does your school use a messaging service? For example mine use Class Dojo and I can message most of the teachers if I have any issues I need to ask about. It saves me time asking in person in the a.m/p.m as I have 3 schools to get to.