Splitting up with a mortgage

[Pussycat001]

Hi all,

I hope someone could shed some light on what I might be able to do. Sorry if this is long, I just want to try and cover everything!

Me and my ex have a 2 year old and I cannot stay in the relationship anymore. I fell pregnant unexpectedly as I was told I wasn't able to conceive naturally, so when I found out I was expecting, I wanted to try and make it work between us for the sake of our little girl even though he didn't want her to begin with.

I know no body is perfect, but it's been a constant battle these last 3 years. I've been on antidepressants twice because he puts me down so much that and I'm pretty sure he has NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) as he ticks all the boxes (and his family think so too!)

We've been in a mortgage together for the last 8 months as I wanted security for my daughter if we did ever split. Now that time has come, he said I need to pay 50/50 for everything in the house. He earns double what I do a year, and I work 4 days a week and pay for all of DD childcare, food, nappies, things for the house etc. and transfer him what I have left and he pays for all bills. Yet he still manages to pay for holidays with his friends, and I can't.
He knows I can't afford to split everything 50/50, and said if I cannot pay then I need to borrow the money from my family to pay my way, or he'll kick me out. I'm not allowed to go back to my mothers as he said that's too far for him to see DD. He's said that he'll use me being on antidepressants to show that I'm an unfit mum when he was the actual cause, not DD, and that because he earns more, has a "perfect" background and has a big house he will get full custody of her.

What can I do? I have a meeting with the solicitor in a couple of days to see what I'm entitled to as I cannot afford to move out. Has anyone from here been in this situation as I'm just so stuck on what to do. Can I not stay in the house until DD is 18? Or not transfer him money so I can save up to move out?

TIA x

I would suggest going to the citizens advice asap. I was in similar last year. I wanted my husband to leave & wanted a separation. I was told that if I left the house I'd be making myself homeless and therefore wouldn't be entitled to a council house, benefits etc even if I took my 5 children with me. They said that if I wanted him to go I could take out an exclusion order so that he would HAVE to go. I have a job, although only bank hours and zero hour contract and he's in full time work on nearly 60k. In the end we didn't need to separate but this is the advice i got from CAB. If he has NPD this would be a case against him although difficult if not diagnosed. Him telling you "you are not allowed" will not wash with a solicitor though. Get as much info as you can to back up anything he fires at you and don't let him threaten you with taking your child as it's just a scaremongering tactic.