Friend problem

[meme70]

Hi I am 48 I have been friends with a lady 46 years.
We went through every class together at school and stayed close for most these years apart when she made a new friend a few years ago who was lying about me so my fiend beloved her new friend and didn’t see me for 8 years until her new friend told her she was lying.

My friend is a self employed carer she works 2 weeks on 2 weeks off and has her carer charge live in her house on the 2 weeks on.
When she has 2 weeks off I never hear from her I ask her to meet up etc but she makes excuses.
When she’s got her care charge she always asks me to meet for lunch with him and her or pop round for a cuppa etc.
Weekends she says it’s her and her husbands time only though they’ve been together 30 years.
She won’t go out with any friends in evenings as it causes problems between her and her husband as they both have bad jealousy issues so our friendship is based on me swing her as and when she wants only when she has her care charge with her.

I’m not sure what to do last year I kept saying no when she wanted to meet as she would only see me when she had her care charge he’s okay he’s very disabled but I thought friendship was more than this ? When I stopped doing as she wanted she got all cross towards me saying I don’t see her anymore when I explained she said oh she just busy when not working I said but you see other people she said oh that’s as they ask me???
I said so do I
So what would you do just accept it or just stay away ?

I know your right just makes me said she believed someone she barely knew over a friend back then of 30 years

I think your right I don’t see why she thinks it’s okay to treat me like this but then people only treat us the way we allow them

I am moving 3 miles away this year and she said don’t as I will never see you ??? She has a car it’s 15 minutes on a train

Thankyou

zzzzz I tried that that’s why I didn’t see her for 3 months last year
She wouldn’t meet me when she has time off

No she doesn’t she has a chronic drink problem and I hardly drink so I feel maybe she doesn’t see me as a friend she needs as I don’t party like she does
She laughs at my not drinking much

I will just not contact her anymore but I know in 2 weeks time she will be moaning at me as I won’t mewt up when she’s working

Thankyou

our friendship is based on me swing her as and when she wants only when she has her care charge with her.
This isn't what I'd call friendship.
If she valued your friendship it would not be such a one way street. May I correct you, 46 years of friendship minus 8 years when it suited her to believe another person over you. So much for loyalty!

You know she expects you to ask, 'How high?' whenever she says, 'Jump!'
My advice would be, since you don't want to cut her off completely, only meet up if you are available and have nothing better to do. Don't hold back from telling her no.
And as soon as you move away she will drop you like a stone.

So she’s got a drinking problem and a husband who’s so jealous she can’t go out evenings and weekends? She doesn’t sound very happy. She sounds like she will need a good friend eventually.

I think you’re getting a raw deal so you should keep your distance a bit but don’t cut her off entirely. You sound like you still care about her and maybe one day down the track things will get better.

Thankyou yes I know I’m jumping to her tune I’m very soft with everyone but she is obviously using me when she has to have her care charge

Her sister and nice have said the same she treats them this way too but her disinter won’t out uo with it and tells her
It’s more difficult for me tbh as I’m not related

Zzzz yes I have to step back now and try kwtbhwr figure out why I’ve backed off as it’s not nice the way she’s treated me

Iwasjust

She is unhappy recently went in antidepressants blames her mums death 8 years ago but I know it’s her marriage and adult children that are making her depressed
I have always been here for her when her mum was dying I messaged her hwkpnahw ignored me

I suppose I’m stupid for putting up with the way she thinks it’s okay to treat me

You’re not stupid, you’re obviously a lovely person who’s default is to be kind. But it is misused here - your own kindness has been turned on you. So yes, you need to remove yourself from this relationship, and never agree to things you don’t want to do.