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Original poster

Best Friend getting married abroad

45 replies

user1495097590 · 03/03/2018 07:48

Hi Everyone,

I need other people's opinions because this is really playing on my mind! My best friend is getting married in May 2019 abroad in Aiya napa. I have an 8 month old boy who will be nearly 2 next May. The thing is me and my partner have always struggled with money we've just bought a house and renovated it so up to our eyeballs in finance and maxed out credit cards etc. We were planning on going on our first holiday as a family next year to somewhere close maybe Menorca/Spain. As it will be my boys first flight and also it will be a nice chilled holiday. We are trying to pay off some debts and we're going to book something last minute next year.

But my friend has asked me to be a bridesmaid and attend her wedding in Aiya napa. So basically that would mean making our only holiday next year Aiya napa with a nearly 2 year old and it wouldn't be exactly that chilled! Am I being selfish if I say I can only afford one holiday next year ( which is very true) so that I want to take our boy to somewhere chilled? What would you do? I have to think what's best for our family and to be honest we didn't get a holiday last year, we work hard all year so I don't want to have our only break as somewhere I can't even spend much quality time with our little boy. Opinions please?!

OP posts:
ladybirdsarelovely33 · 03/03/2018 07:54

A very good friend of mine is getting married abroad this year. My dc are a couple of years older than yours and we haven't ever been abroad with them. We only really envisage me going abroad for the wedding- it's long haul.
However it's my dear friend and an extremely important occasion. So we are just letting me go. We will holiday as a family in the UK on a smaller scale.

PurpleDaisies · 03/03/2018 07:59

I think if you get married abroad, you accept people might not be able to come.

I think I’d be a bit disappointed if you said you wanted to go on a different holiday rather than go to my wedding (I wouldn’t say anything though). Be very careful how you word this.

MoreProsecco · 03/03/2018 08:01

You could go to a quieter resort nearby? And still attend the wedding.

And a holiday with a 2-year old is never going to be chilled.

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Weddings
Happened · 03/03/2018 08:01

I totally understand your reasons and I would feel the same. Could you tell her you've already booked your other holiday and you simply can't afford to go to her wedding? If you get married abroad it's something you have to accept/expect.

Original poster
user1495097590 · 03/03/2018 08:07

Ok thanks everyone for your comments. What I mean by a chilled holiday is not a resort where it's a bit quieter and we can spend quality time together. I have a lot to think about it need to speak to my husband as it will be his only holiday too. Unless I go on my own which I don't know about that.

Hmmm it's so hard i do want to go and if money wasn't an issue I would be going regardless

OP posts:
palmfronds · 03/03/2018 08:11

But the wedding is only a day or two surely? Why not join her for that and then book accommodation somewhere nice and quiet outside of Ayia Napa for your family for the rest of the week? Lots of lovely places in Cyprus that aren't in resorts.

Justcake · 03/03/2018 08:13

Cyprus is a beautiful island, with lots of lovely quiet resorts. I assume they are a very good friend as they want you to be their bridesmaid.. Id travel a day or 2 before the wedding, stay in a quite resort. Make an effort to travel to the wedding. Then enjoy a relaxing holiday after. Best of both worlds.

InDubiousBattle · 03/03/2018 08:13

I think that as she's your best friend you should find a quiet resort near to the wedding. You could also pass on being a bridesmaid and be a guest instead to lessen the amount you have to do at the wedding?

mrsnec · 03/03/2018 08:13

I got married abroad and I wasn't offended at all if people didn't come or if they said no and went on holiday somewhere else. She might not be the same though I think be honest but be careful how you word it.

I also think UK weddings can cost a fortune anyway with the hen do, presents, clothes, transport and accommodation.

Having said all that, I now live fairly close to Ayia Napa and if you have never been before it might not be the place you think it is and it's one of the most family friendly places I've ever been to. And your children might be ok on the flight. Don't dismiss it as your first family holiday. Look into it a bit more.

junglebookisthebest · 03/03/2018 08:17

I think reading between the lines you don't want to go and maybe she is an 'old' best friend but the reality is that you simply aren't as close as you used to be.
Because if she was a close best friend then this wouldn't be an issue - she would have probably spoken about wedding ideas a long time ago and you would have had an inkling that this is what she wants and equally she would know that Ayia Napa is too manic for you. Cyprus is bound to have a resort that does suit you - book there and then just taxi in on the day for the wedding. If best friend wants more moral support - suggest other bridesmaids take that role or ask if it would be better for you just to be a guest.

Sittinonthefloor · 03/03/2018 08:18

She's chosen to get married abroad, part of that is accepting that not everyone will be able to go. You can't afford it - end of argument. And even if you could it's fine to not go because you don't want to. If you go on holiday elsewhere that's irrelevant.

MoreProsecco · 03/03/2018 08:23

OP can afford it, I think she doesn't want to go.

WTFIsThisVirus · 03/03/2018 08:25

There's no way in hell I would miss my best friends wedding. So maybe she isn't really your best friend?

As PPs have said, why don't you just look at booking a more family-friendly resort for yourselves?

Original poster
user1495097590 · 03/03/2018 08:26

Ok I really appreciate all these opinions thanks. I would just go on my own but I'm the worst flyer I get panic attacks so need to be with someone I know especially on a 4 1/2 hour flight.
So I will look into the resorts nearby and find some family friendly places, I do want to go it's just the money issue. Everyone I speak to is saying Aiya napa is expensive but when I've looked it looks about £900 for 3 nights incl flights and hotels for us. Maybe I can get a good deal and like some of you said make the best of both worlds.
I just know it would be awful If I declined to attend the wedding then booked a last minute hol when we have a bit more money so I'm stuck either way I think

OP posts:
BookHelpPlease · 03/03/2018 08:27

Why not spend 2 days in the wedding place- the night before and night of the wedding. Then go to a quitter more friendly resort. Cyprus is pretty big you don;t have to stay ing the tacky party town the whole time. Some parts of the island are lovely and chilled.

Original poster
user1495097590 · 03/03/2018 08:29

No money is actually an issue for us we are going to struggle to go on any holiday. That's what I'm saying money is an issue but we were going to get a cheap last minute deal next year. I obviously do have some part of me that wants to go or wouldn't ask the question. I came in here for helpful advice

OP posts:
madeyemoodysmum · 03/03/2018 08:32

Can't you stay in another resort and just travel to the wedding by cab. If your out of Ayia napa itself. It should be fairly quiet Cyprus is a big island. Plenty to choose from and will be no different from Spain in that regard. Apart from being Greek. 🤣

LIZS · 03/03/2018 08:33

Fly in, do wedding then find a sc apartment further away. Do you have other mutual friends who may do similar?

Original poster
user1495097590 · 03/03/2018 08:33

Well can anyone recommend a family friendly resort in/close to Aiya napa which is close to Nissi bay? Because I don't have a clue where to start looking

OP posts:
Gendarme · 03/03/2018 08:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hellywelly10 · 03/03/2018 08:39

Can you stay out of town? Have your quiet family holiday and gother to the wedding for the day?

Shesaysso · 03/03/2018 08:43

Another vote for saying you can't afford it - which you can't. I'd then have a caravan holiday in the uk next year and then go abroad when you have more money. Your 2 year old won't remember it, if you haven't got the money go abroad when he's a bit older.

mrsnec · 03/03/2018 08:43

The Dome and the Olympic Lagoon resort are good options. Anywhere that says Makronisos or Nissi Bay will be a good option. They are miles away from the square.

Alternatively, if you don't mind being further out look at a villa in a village and car hire. Somewhere like Ayia Thekla or Google red soil villages.

Original poster
user1495097590 · 03/03/2018 08:46

Well what we are trying to do is clear some of our debt over the next 12 months then see where we are at this time next year if we can afford a holiday or not. So if I did go it would be booked next year anyway. I go back to work in April from maternity leave so that will help our money situation.

I think if I'm honest we need to sort out our debts then see what the money situation is like in a year and if we can afford then will book to go Aiya napa and attend her wedding but stay somewhere a bit quieter and travel there. Thanks for your help

OP posts:
ScattyCharly · 03/03/2018 08:47

You can easily stay somewhere chilled 5-10 mins from aiya napa. I haven’t been recently but if you start a thread, someone will know the place and advise you. Years ago I went to Nissi Beach. 5-10 min drive from aiya napa and completely chilled. But like I say was 15yrs ago. Ask for current info. Cyprus is lovely you can easily achieve your holiday objective there

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