Toddler won’t sleep on her own and it’s ruining intimacy

[Jewel82]

My DD who’s 21 months old refuses to sleep in her cot. She wakes up screaming and the moment she’s between myself and OH in our bed she’s fast asleep. This is now seriously impacting our adult relationship and there is no chance of intimacy. I can’t even remember the last time we were intimate. Being human we have needs and I feel that intimacy plays a part in a healthy relationship. I love my daughter to bits it just want a few hours of adult time with my OH. It’s not too much to ask for, is it?

Hi I have 3 daughters and 3 grandchildren

My eldest now 22 was a longed for fertility treatment baby 8 years we tried for her

She slept the day she got home from hospital all night for 9 months next to me in her crib and then her cot until aged 2

From aged 9 months she would not sleep in her own cot all night we’d be putting her in it she’s be crying so we were exhausted this lasted until I was pregnant with baby 2 when she was 4
I then explained she’d hurt the baby so had to sleep in her own bed and she didn’t

Baby 2 never slept with us from day one I’d get her to doze then lay her in her cot

Baby 3 different dad she was very hard work lol
She had night terrors aged 18 minus the health visitor told me I have to sit outside her bedroom and every time she cried to get out her cot/bed I’d have to go in lay her down walk out the room sit outside it quietly
She screamed I was only allowed to leave her 5 minutes if bad
I had to tell my neighbours what was going on as it was bad

I was working full time so was my partner and the 2 older children were 5 and 9 so busy home

2 weeks I sat up all night laying her down constantly every 5-10 minutes
Had a nightlight in her room I never spoke to her I’d lay her down and cover her up walk out sit outside her bedroom
I was exhausted but it worked and I told my daughter to do this with her eldest and she did and she had 3 babies in 26 minus as 2 were premmies

I’d ask health visitor what you could try and ask if it’s okay you do what I did but it is hard very very hard but it works

Thank you for your reply. I've heard of leaving them to "cry it out". The only problem is that for the time being she's in our bedroom as we're in the process of saving to get a place to live that has 2 bedrooms. I guess while she knows we are all together it will be very hard to get her to sleep on her own. I'd love to add to our family but just don't see it happening for a while x

Sadly we have had problems of this nature when our kids are 8 and nearly 11, but I like to think that we are the exception. No SN by the way