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Husband isn’t what i need

6 replies

Catmum26 · 01/03/2018 22:36

Quick background. Together on and off 10 years. Together steadily for the last 5 and Married for 1.5 years. We have never had the best relationship. We bicker a lot and my husband has never been very affectionate or showed any sort of emotion. He’s had a toughish childhood so i always Kinda let his selfishness slide but recently things have got really bad. We have been ttc for 9 months and found out in jan that i have Diminished ovarian reserve and hubby has extremely poor sperm so ivf is the only option. Hubby took it badly and refused to talk to me and basically has been really nasty for the past month. He’s told me to leave and find someone else and he’s been pushing me away. He said we have nothing in common and we aren’t happy with each other so it’s best if we call it a day. I was Obviously really upset because although we might not seem like the best couple, I thought we loved each other enough and that’s what made it work. After a lot of crying (on my part) we decided that we would try to make it better. He never talks or opens up about anything and we never have a deep or meaningful conversation. He’s made NO effort at all to make the situation better. He won’t cuddle me, tell me he loves me or even talk to me. We sit in silence on our phones. I guess It’s the same as it’s always been but now I’m realising that i need him. We’ve just found out we potentially won’t be able to have a baby and i need Someone to cry with and to hug and for him to tell me it will be okay. He can’t do that. I’m thinking of all the times he’s let me down or disappointed me and it’s making me think id be better off alone. It wouldn’t be fair to bring a child into this mess anyway. I’ve tried so hard to make this work and he’s refusing to talk or do anything to make it better. I love Him so much and the thought of packing up our home and never seeing each other again kills me but at the same time i cant Imagine living this unhappy for the rest of my life. I’ve suggested councelling and he won’t go. I’m all out of ideas. Sad

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 02/03/2018 02:32

Op you might be better moving this to relationships.

I think you need to have a make pr break conversation with him. Tell him you're at the point of walking away.

Would hr go to couples counselling?

How old are you?

Jux · 02/03/2018 06:36

Frankly, I think you're lucky that you've found out now. How much worse would it be if you realised how horrid he is when you'd been together 20 years, endured all that misery and invested all that love for nothing.

I know it's not what you want to hear.

Hold you head up, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Have a final make or break talk - if he deigns to talk to you - and then deal with what comes bravely.

Flowers
Jux · 02/03/2018 06:37

Sleeping he's already refused counselling.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

SleepingStandingUp · 02/03/2018 09:05

Then you need to really decide if this is someone you want to be tied to forever.

It might in part be about his feelings of being a failure of a man, or letting you down etc but out sounds like he was like this long before the sperm count.

Give yourself a chance of a happy life

MrsElvis · 02/03/2018 09:18

He makes you feel sad most of the time.... you've spelt it out yourself

Ragaroo · 09/03/2018 18:13

Life is too short to be this unhappy xx

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