God, just writing this down makes me feel awful...
There was a new girl at work. She was very quiet but pleasant to the team and we seemed to get along great. Then she suddenly became very sullen towards me, snapping at me and seeming to purposely screw up her work so I’d have to fix it (she’s a junior member). Yet, she was still sweet to the others in the team who began to pick up on her behaviour towards me.
Then they began to be cold towards her in response. Over the passing three months she stopped sitting with us at lunch, stopping attending team nights out, she doesn’t join in with conversations (though will be pleasant enough discussing professional matters) and just is generally avoided.
I’d just like to point out I never instigated this, but the others would say they didn’t like her attitude towards me and didn’t want anything to do with her if her attitude was going to be like that with me. (Also keep in mind she is still being harsh / snappy / short with me during this time but when / If they spoke to her, she was nice as pie... It was a very obvious difference!!)
I confronted her last week (privately) and asked what her problem with me was, as by this point the team were giving her the cold shoulder and she was still openly snappy and hostile with me. It was making the team atmosphere awkward and I couldn’t stand that it was somehow my fault.
She broke down in tears and told me about her bipolar / desperation and how she just couldn’t stomach how “chirpy, happy and smiley” I was in the office all the time. She cried for a while talking about her struggles and how she has to force herself to smile when I always seem to be in a good mood.
We had a bit of a moment (swapping stories and me explaining although I’m always smiling in work I do have bad days I just try to forget them in the workplace) and we left on better terms, with her apologising and promising to stop the attitude with me. In turn I told her she can always speak to me etc... A truly girl bonding moment.
But... It’s made me aware of how the team treat her. Although she’s making an effort not to snap / be short with me, they’re still cold towards her and are clearly mistrustful. I’ve tried to explain to them that she had her reasons (without saying what they are) and that it was a misunderstanding, but it’s not let up and they’re calling me gulable and to forgiving.
Please give me advice on what I should do now? I obviously can’t force them to change their mind and they were the ones to make their own decisions, but I feel responsible and if I’m honest, incredibly guilty? 