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Help please ..

5 replies

JamiesGal · 27/02/2018 20:35

Hi there, this is my first ever post. I am feeling incredibly stuck right now and I really need some advice ... I hope u will bare with me on this post, I will keep it as short as i can.
I recently started seeing a guy at the beginning of nov 17, from the moment I met him I was hooked. He was everything I was hoping to find in a guy (I’ve had some horrendous experiences!) he was kind, respectful, hard working and handsome! He also made me feel like I was the only girl in the room every time I was with him. Things were going amazing .. I met his family about 3 weeks after we started seeing each other and all of his friends. We were happy and I felt just amazing ... then out a few days after meeting everyone in his life I started to get these messages through social media from random profiles .. just horrible messages! Things like “his family don’t even like you” “your too ugly for him” .. I got so many! I didn’t tell him straight away..! I then got the Aussie flu and didn’t see him a lot for about 3 weeks. When I did he said to me he didn’t feel we were suited and he told me cause he wanted to be honest, he felt it was prob cause we hadn’t seen a lot of each other and once I was better we would be able to do more and spend more time together!
The messages got worse and paired with that “honest” conversation my confidence started to be affected, and one night I sent him one of the messages! This particular message was saying he was out for dinner with another girl, he then proved to me he was with his best mate (which I didn’t ask for) I feel I need to explain that I have never shouted or accused him, I am not that kind of person. I prefer to talk ...
anyways .. the messages got worse .. he told me to not open them, they weren’t true and it didn’t matter, what mattered was that I trusted him and knew he wouldn’t lie. There was proof each time that the messages were not true, well basically it came to a blow when I got a message with a photo! And by this point I had been receiving these messages for 7 weeks. I was at a low, from the abuse and my confidence was on the floor! I was appearing to him to be upbeat and positive but deep down I was destroyed. We exchanged words and I said (which I have never regretted so much in my life) why would you do this to me! He finished it, he told me that he’s not a cheat and would never have done that to me!
Ever since then he isn’t talking to me, the messages have continued and I don’t know what to do! I have filed a police report but I don’t have a clue who it is, although everything points to his ex!
I sent him a message asking if he will ever speak to me .. he hasn’t responded!
I don’t know what to do ... I feel so upset that I have allowed someone to affect me, I’ve lost someone who was really special to me ..
I just needed to get this off my chest as I don’t really have anyone to speak to...
thank you for reading ...

OP posts:
Liverpoolmumof1 · 27/02/2018 20:52

Some people are so cruel. This has obviously been done to you out of jealousy but that doesn’t stop it from hurting.

As far as the messages go, don’t open any more. The person who is sending them is only doing it to hurt you and drive your confidence further through the floor. Instead, ask a trusted friend to read them to make sure there’s nothing in there that needs to be taken seriously. If it continues, chase it up with the police as harassment.

I’m afraid, as difficult as it is, you can’t force the situation with this chap in your life. You have to respect his decision and leave it be. You’ve made it known how you feel and that is all you can do. If you Chase it further you will make this man think he can come and go in your life when he feels like. Give him time to miss you and ponder on what you had. Most of all, trust that if it’s meant to be it will happen. If it doesn’t, he didn’t deserve you and there is someone better waiting for you.

Don’t give anyone the satisfaction of taking away your respect for yourself and your confidence. X

Lookatyourwatchnow · 27/02/2018 21:02

What was the photo? Did it give concrete evidence that he isn't being faithful?

JamiesGal · 27/02/2018 21:43

The photo was a man with his head on a girls shoulder, u could only see the back of his head and a kind of the side of his face.. in my defence I saw it at 8am in the morning, I’d just woken up and I sent it to him then and there.. I wish I could take it back!
It wasn’t him.. after that I got a message about 3 days later saying it was all fake! He never cheated and they were happy cause it was over ...
now he won’t talk to me ...

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Snowmelt · 04/03/2018 16:59

after that I got a message about 3 days later saying it was all fake! He never cheated and they were happy cause it was over ...

Send it to him - no comments at all just 'Thought you should see this'

JamiesGal · 05/03/2018 11:56

I Did... he hasn’t spoken to me. In fact he’s giving me the silent treatment .. I just found out that it was one of his friends! ...
I haven’t done anything to deserve the silent treatment at all ... :(

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