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Confused. Any advice welcome x

2 replies

llWelshDragonll · 03/02/2018 21:21

So, me and my boyfriend of 6 years (3 kids) have been going through a bit of a patch. Roughly 3/4 weeks ago i was in a really bad spiral. I was lonely and needed to talk to someone. My bf works really hard and when hes not working hes exhausted. Im a fulltime mother without any real friends. I have a great family life but i was just feeling the need to talk to someone...anyone. anyways i signed up for friendship sites and so on but they all required payment. The only free site that i knew of was pof. Yes, as stupid as it sounds i signed up to a dating site looking for sum1 to chat to. Anyways he saw it pop up on my phone and instead of asking me about it he kept it to hiself and brooded over it until i made him tell me what was wrong. I tried explaining myself buh naturally he didnt believe me. But thats not the problem. He explained that he didnt trust me etc and wanted to break up. No matter how much i begged and pleaded (something i never thought id do). He was adamant. Fair enough, as much as i loved him, i did wrong. i dealt with it. When we both had calmed down and i accepted we were over, we had a chat about the way we felt and he told me that he didnt love me anymore. He loved me as the mother of his kids but nothing else. My heart broke. But for the sake of the kids we remained living together and slowly started behaving as friends. Over a few days the friendship turned into flirting. And we send a few saucy vids. He suggests us getting back together. (Something i want more than anything) but i cant get it out of my head the fact that he said he didnt love me anymore. Thats huge. How can you go from absolutely and completely believing you dont love someone to wanting to be back together? Is it just the sex he wants? x

OP posts:
BlessYourCottonSocks · 03/02/2018 21:30

I think you need to sit down and explain to him that you understood and accepted the reasons when he told you he didn't trust you. Now, because of him saying he doesn't love you any more you are unable to trust him at the moment. Tell him you would like to get your relationship back on track, but you need to take things slowly and rebuild the trust between you. Have you resolved the initial issue between you - or will he still be working all hours and you feeling lonely and resentful?

llWelshDragonll · 03/02/2018 22:00

Thanks so much for the advice. Ive tried talking to him about it and he just states that he said it because he was angry and he realised he was just spiting hiself. The fact that he works all the time isnt really a problem. I kind of admire him for it. As i said we have 3 children and hes providing. Its my fault really. I need to get out more and do more things.
It would be nice to spend more time with eachother and we spoke about that too. Its just this thing he said has really gotten under my skin. I feel as though the slightest little thing that goes wrong is going to put those words back into his head.
Our relationship has been perfect for 6 years and im absolutely kicking myself because i put the spanner in the works so they say.
I just feel like im dangling on a cliff now. Like any minute its gonna crumble. I dont know if this is making any sense. Like i said.....confused! X

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