Bedtime with a screaming newborn

[wapphighwood]

Tonight I had to do bedtime for the first time on my own since our second dc was born 2.5 weeks ago. DH has been great but tonight he couldn't get home in time. My newborn just wants to scream or bf all evening from about 5.30, so I tried my best to keep them and my 3.5 year old happy but failed them both. Dc1 goes to pre school, I pick them up at 5, the whole time she is home until bed the baby cries and wants to cluster feed. I tried feeding baby whilst reading stories to dc1 but baby is unsettled and keeps unlatching and crying ( have wind/ forceful let down issues) it gets to dc1 bedtime, we go through getting into pjs, teeth, stories, tuck in with the baby screaming, poor dc1 could hardly hear me reading to her (I was holding the baby trying to settle in different positions) Dc1 just looked so forlorn that this is the best she would get and it has made me cry. DH now home and has taken the baby out in the buggy for to try to get them to sleep for a bit. So I suppose my wwyd is should I have put the baby in another room just whilst I do bedtime so that the screaming isn't as loud and dc1 gets a reasonable bedtime, but hate the thought the newborn being left to cry on his own, at least he was being held? I've tried sling on previous evening and it only settles him if walk outside.

Poor you. That sounds awful. I think you are doing an amazing job and yes, I don't see any harm in laying baby in another room and making a point to your DD that this 5 mins is just for you.

Any family who can help during these first difficult weeks? I well remember the 'witching hour'.

Also that might have been the worst bedtime you ever do 💐

I’m not there yet but lots of sympathy. I’m sure it will get better as newborn gets out of the horrible witching hour stage! I’d probably do most of vedtime with a creamy baby but then put in other room for a minute or to to tuck in and kiss goodnight. Dc1 gets a sense of normal (with quiet crying from other room) just before going to sleep and baby doesn’t wait too long. Maybe white noise set up in your room with the baby to soothe and drown out the crying for dc1 a little. Then climb into bed for a feed

Let the baby scream. Give your other child a bit of time. It won't last long. They catch on pretty quick. Sometimes I think that this crying at the end of the day is just their way of getting all the last drop of energy out of you, before they go to sleep.

Sounds a little bit like colic. Have you tried a dummy.

I used a sling. Sometimes dd2 slept, sometimes not. Every now and then I would pop her into her moses basket to read a quick story and tuck dd1 in without her listening to screaming. Dd2 was just over 2 when dd2 born.

It is hard but it gets easier. Keep repeating that its not forever!