Friend using a "wrong" car seat.

[SpaceDinosaur]

Friend's baby is the same age as mine. She's recently chosen to move her baby into the next stage of car seat. Her baby is 13 months and now forward facing.
Yes, I know that's against the law in the UK.

I'm even more concerned because she's sent a few (parked) car selfies recently where baby's fallen asleep in the car and in addition to being FF, her baby is wearing a massive padded coat under her straps.

WWYD? I don't want to come across as a "know it all" but if she's in a collision and baby is harmed because of both the seat and the coat then I will feel awful.

Her baby's not large. Same size as my baby and I'd bet my last penny would still fit in the infant carrier seat but isn't in it any more because it's hard work lugging a 13month old. The FF seat is "easier"

WWYD?

I’d probably share a car seat safety video on FB.

I would probably do something similar to yes. But it’s not like the child is completely unrestrained.

It’s not illegal to forward face. It’s just that the EU has banned new car seats from being front facing at this age.
My children were both rear facing until they were at least 18months..but it’s not illegal it’s just safer.
I think it’s better if you try to bring up this subject casually. If you imply what she is doing is tantamount to child abuse or illegal then she’ll likely take offence and write off anything you have to say!

What would I do? Calm down for a start.

You could send her this. "just saw this on FB, I had no idea!" etc

m.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10204813573396725&id=1160173072&set=a.2145907924828.2129012.1160173072

Is there a reason why she's in forward facing? We had to switch quite early with both DC because they started escaping rear facing seats. The problem was solved when moved into more interesting forward facing seats. I can't remember how old they were but the youngest was probably less than one and a half.

The padded jacket is a non-issue. That advice only refers to rear-facing car seats with a five-point harness.

On the early forward facing problem, I would interfere, say something and prepare to lose the friendship. As you say, I couldn’t live with myself if something bad happened. You won’t be thanked for it though.

First of all - it is not illegal.

Secondly - have you considered that your friend can’t afford an rear facing car seat for an older child?

Aren't ff car seats suitable from 9kg? Thats about a year up isn't it?

"The padded jacket is a non-issue. That advice only refers to rear-facing car seats with a five-point harness."

That's incorrect.

We have just bought a forward facing car seat (Kiddy Guardianfix 3) - it’s weight based rather than age based so our one year old can use it now as he exceeds 9kg. Maybe your friend has a car seat that is like ours?

www.madeformums.com/news-and-gossip/winter-coats-and-car-seats-what-you-need-to-know/40537.html

The latest government guidance:

www.gov.uk/child-car-seats-the-rules

Our car seat has a safety shield.

I posted in WWYD @Leviticus, not AIBU. I am calm, just concerned. Know better do better and all. I posted for advice because I didn't want to be inadvertently unkind and I'm asking what you would do is all.

The seat is an iSize which on the uk gov site states 15 months+
I promise you, money's not an issue. This will simply be a case of it's easier and "they wouldn't sell it if it wasn't safe" also, her baby will certainly still fit in the infant carrier. Baby is smaller than mine.

Respectfully, I disagree regarding your coat response.

I think a facebook vid is the way to go. Thank you all.

When DD outgrew her carry around car seat i bought one that could rear face until 4, specifically for that reason. However, there was absolutely no way that we could fit it in that way.
Not me, not DH, not any of the staff at the shop.
We tried others but still struggled. In the end we popped it in and she was forward facing from them on. She was about a year old at the time and I was so uncomfortable about it. It was, however, still safer than her previous one as her head poked out the top!
I completely agree that rearward facing for longer is far safer, but unfortunately that's not always the way forward...

'Concerned' but with a snide remark about her being too lazy to use the car seat you think she should use. Righto.

It’s not illegal to be forward facing and I’m yet to see a child in an extended rear facing seat. I really wouldn’t waste your time worrying and to be fair, I would mind your own business

I don't think I was snide, I simply agreed that it's hard work lugging a 13month old on an infant carrier. But, this is what I was asking, what would you do, and clearly you think I have some motive beyond concern.

"Mind your own business"
Fair enough. I guess not everyone wants to learn that they're not using the most current information. But if there's an accident how would you then feel knowing there was better information out there, you just "didn't know"

It's crazy the solution to the heavy baby seats is to leave them in the car!

It's sad how far behind we are in widespread car safety knowledge.

Just ignore me OP, I've got out of bed the wrong side. Sorry.

For me, money was an issue, which is why I asked.

My daughter was small though and only outgrew the infant carrier at about 18 months. She’s been forward facing since then. I genuinely agonised over it. However, she spends about an hour a week in the car, if that. I couldn’t justify spending the money required to get a rear facing car seat. I think if I did a any sort of commute and she was in the car a lot, that would be different because the odds are higher for having an accident the more you are in your car.

I'm never sure why you see people lugging about the type of car seat you are calling an 'infant carrier' anyway. It's not a handbag for a baby, it's a car seat! The only time a child should be in one is when they are going in the car, in my opinion. They are indeed heavy, so leave it in the car where it belongs and carry the baby or put it in a pram.

Anyway, to the point, forward facing isn't illegal. We have one for my DS as a spare in grans car, he's 2.5 now but went in it when he was one. Nothing illegal about it.

If you are concerned about safety though, a general fb post is s good idea. That's how I learned about the winter jacket thing.

The infant carriers are useful if your baby falls asleep in the car seat and will stay asleep when you lift the seat out. (My DCs would do the former but not the latter, oh well)

Am I reading the government guidelines right? It looks like forward facing is ok from 9kg. 9kg is only 25th centile at 13 months so the baby could be within guidelines.

Age/weight chart thing: www.rcpch.ac.uk/system/files/protected/page/A4%20Boys%200-4YRS%20(4th%20Jan%202013).pdf

I thought this was normal? My kids are much older now though so I might be wrong and hoping things have improved. I got a rear facing seat for my kids 7 years ago and think some people thought I was crazy!