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Original poster

Leaving sibling in car at school drop off

31 replies

Sherbertfizzer · 01/02/2018 14:35

So basically, I DO leave my 2year child in the car. What I want to know....is there really anything actually wrong in this?
It's a village school. I park on the main road opposite the gate and as soon as I see the inner gate open and parents going in, I dash my son across the road leaving his 2 yr sibling in the car.
The weather at present is cold, so there's no chance of him overheating or freezing because I am gone maybe 3 minutes at most. I lock and alarm the car, the windows are up and he is strapped into his car seat with his toys.
When I return to collect older son, I do the same because sibling is then fast asleep and seems awful to wake him and carry him in the wind, rain etc for 3-5 mins to collect older brother.
I used to take him in his pushchair in the morning instead and he screamed blue murder every single day at seeing his beloved brother go into classroom where he couldn't follow and this is what prompted me after 2 months of unchanging behaviour to leave him in the car. It actually worked wonders and he doesnt get distressed anymore.
Now when I enter the gate, I go up an alley and round to the left to the main school door where my child is called for me. It is at this point my child is not actually in sight.
What can happen ? I see lots of people on other posts saying "anything can happen" and "how terrible" but what I don't get is what COULD actually happen? If child is not eating, is strapped into car seat, windows up, car locked AND alarmed? And as stressed this is only for winter AND he's as happy as can be sat there watching all the goings on?

OP posts:
cowatthegate · 01/02/2018 14:42

I don't think there is anything wrong with this , I however am a very laidback parent.

OhHolyJesus · 01/02/2018 14:45

No experience of this but in scenarios you explained I'd be fine with this too - although for every second he was out of sight is fret that some old busy body would be calling SS!
I'd maybe leave a note inside windscreen to explain but I'm not sure that would make it worse!
If he's asleep, it's freezing cold and it's 3 mins I would say I would do the same as you.

taskmaster · 01/02/2018 14:46

I did it for years, no issue at all.

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AJPTaylor · 01/02/2018 14:55

I would.
But no doubt peeps will be along to tell you of fire and accidents and reports to ss for neglect

ChoccyJules · 01/02/2018 14:58

My car alarm is triggered by movement so I can't lock a child in, otherwise there are times it would be handy. I'm a fretter though so I would probably end up waking child and taking them with me.

Strokethefurrywall · 01/02/2018 14:59

I do it and I live in a hot country so leave the car running with the A/C on.

I'm an adult who can risk assess my own surroundings and environment and have deemed it a risk so minimal that it's not worth worrying about.

Original poster
Sherbertfizzer · 01/02/2018 16:00

Thank you, it's so refreshing to hear. I'm always questioning myself and I think I'm the only mum doing it. The alarm has gone off twice choccyjules, then hubby showed me I could turn off the inside movement sensor so now it will just go off if someone tries to force entry.
It's so hard to know what the right thing is. Some people may say it's totally wrong and I'm wondering if the other mums there all talk behind my back but I just keep thinking, where's the harm really. Thank you, I was expecting ting a barrage of abuse.....maybe that's to come yet haha.

OP posts:
dontticklethetoad · 01/02/2018 16:03

Sherbertfizzer just out of curiosity, is this in a village beginning with N? We recently had a snotty letter from the headteacher complaining about parents doing this!

ChoccyJules · 01/02/2018 16:23

I will have a look for that sensor, thanks for the tip (derails thread)!

Anatidae · 01/02/2018 16:24

I wouldn’t personally. Do whatever you feel is safest.

yumscrumfatbum · 01/02/2018 16:29

I wouldn't personally do this. I'm an anxious kind of Mother and for me there would be all sorts of probably unlikely scenarios that for me would not be worth the risk. I'd be concerned about fire, theft of the car, another vehicle hitting the car and child abduction. I have four children so always had a toddler in tow on the school run, waiting at swimming lessons clubs etc. The toddler rarely enjoyed it and maybe made a fuss about it but ultimately they learnt to tolerate and to wait which in the long term made my life easier. No judgement just my personal experience

NerdyBird · 01/02/2018 16:35

I would be far too anxious to do that, plus our car alarm would go off. I'd be worried about disabling the sensor in case it would affect insurance should the car be stolen. I frequently have to deal withan unhappy toddler when collecting DSD2 but that's my choice

Bringonspring · 01/02/2018 16:38

Do you have tinted windows? Maybe better, personally I wouldn’t because I couldn’t live with the consequences

shakemysilliesout · 01/02/2018 16:39

I would never leave the car running with a child inside and go to school gates, not for even a minute. I know op doesn't do this but previous poster mentioned it.

DailyMailareDicks · 01/02/2018 16:40

I wouldn't as I'm too anxious a parent, but also very headstrong in doing what I feel is best for my child. If you think leaving them in the car is best all round then carry on.

I'm pretty sure I read an article about a Dad who left his daughter in the car while he popped in to the chemist and had parked directly outside. She was sick and they'd just come from the hospital, it was cold and she was in PJ's. Police were called and he was charged with something, very unfairly and cue outrage. Probably the Daily Fail!!

I would just check you are not breaking any laws. I'll have a look for that article.

SweetMoon · 01/02/2018 16:44

Where I live now, I probably wouldn't do this. Where I lived before I would and have with no worries. It sounds like you've thought this through and its the best thing for everyone, so don't worry.

Cowandchickentake2 · 01/02/2018 16:46

I have a 2 year too and I always take her with me when doing pick ups and drop offs. You can't see your car when your in the school, anything could happen! It's not like your in a petrol station where you can visibly see the car and children in it. For the sake of a few minutes just take the child with you.

Hoppinggreen · 01/02/2018 16:46

I wouldn’t unless I could keep the car in sight the whole time

Original poster
Sherbertfizzer · 01/02/2018 16:50

DailyMailareDicks thanks, I wouldnt mind reading that. Wow that seems way over the top.
Well it's definitely a hard one to decide I think. The car is parallel parked on the road directly opposite gate , not a driveway or junction so no chance of a car unless one somehow veres into the side which I guess is a small chance. Cannot think how a fire could start if engine not running etc. Car locked and alarmed so car theft or abduction ,not impossible but unlikely given the 3 minutes I'm gone, I suppose if someone was determined they could smash the window, reach in and undo seatbelt but I would be there murdering them by the time they got to that stage lol.

Bringonspring- yes I do have tinted windows so it's not obvious son is there to non school mums.
dontticklethetoad - no I'm in Buckinghamshire, if a letter gets sent out here then every single person will know it's aimed soley at me 🙈

OP posts:
purplelass · 01/02/2018 16:50

I don't want to scare anyone but something terrible happened down the road from me which meant I'd never leave a child in a car.
A woman had left her sleeping children in her car while she was at her friends house. She could see the car from the window but something happened which caused the car to catch fire and tragically the children didn't survive.
This isn't an urban myth in case anyone thinks it is - see www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.getreading.co.uk/news/local-news/toddlers-die-car-fire-horror-4275970.amp

Original poster
Sherbertfizzer · 01/02/2018 16:54

Cowandchickentake2. This is what I'm wanting to know - what exactly could happen in the 1.5 mins that the car is out of sight? It takes 3 mins for me to cross the road, walk short alley round corner to door where I collect son and then back again.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 01/02/2018 16:56

I have seen to much dangerous parking and cars bumping into others to even consider leaving a young child outside School in a car

Original poster
Sherbertfizzer · 01/02/2018 16:57

purplelass, that's awful. I can't see if the engine was running or not which you would think it had to be but it's something for me to think about thanks.

OP posts:
Bringonspring · 01/02/2018 16:58

Crikey that’s alwful. I can only imagine the guilt and ‘what ifs’. It’s why I always find a pay at pump as well

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