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In laws

15 replies

Hann17 · 26/01/2018 14:25

Hi just looking for advice. My in laws are always asking us to mind their children aged 5 and 1 whenever they go away overseas. I've gladly helped out on numerous occasions but we have recently been asked to take one of them on holidays with us as they are going away themselves and don't want to bring the kids. We don't feel comfortable taking someone else's child overseas with us. It's a huge responsibility. We have a child of our own and want a family holiday ourselves. The in laws both have other brother and sisters who have said they wouldn't take the child if it was them. I feel bad for not obliging this time. But they want to go away for two weeks themselves and are trying to find people to mind their kids. Feel taken advantage of but don't want to cause hard feelings. We said no but now they are asking my mother in law to take them and to be honest she's not able. The other family members are all away at the same time but never get asked to take the kids. Don't want to offend anyone or fall out but don't know what to do.

OP posts:
happilyeverafta · 26/01/2018 17:13

Just say it's not convenient, sorry.

Personally I can't understand how they can leave their kids for two weeks??

Otterseatpuffinsdontthey · 26/01/2018 17:31

Am I reading/understanding this properly? Your in-laws want a child-free holiday - so, they want you to take their children, with you, when you go your holiday (you have your own child).

Hann17 · 26/01/2018 17:48

Ya im the same. Wouldn't want to leave them for that long.

Yep!

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user1498854363 · 26/01/2018 17:54

Tbh they seem to not understand how kids work, but why don’t they employ someone to go on holiday and care for their kids while they do their own stuff (without kids?)

KatharinaRosalie · 26/01/2018 17:59

Wow that's cheeky! Call them back and say that actually, you have also decided you would rather have a child-free holiday, so you will send your kids with them instead.

Poshindevon · 26/01/2018 18:01

Why did your in laws have children if they cant look after them or take them on holiday?
I would definitely say something to them offend or not.
Where is your DH in all this ?Arent they his relations? Why doesnt he speak to them?

WipsGlitter · 26/01/2018 18:17

Someone just needs to be straight with them. Be united and keep refusing to help.

Starlight2345 · 26/01/2018 18:21

You say asked to take one of them . What will happen to the other?

Btw I wouldn’t take someone else’s child either . Holidays with young children are hard work no way would I consider adding in another one or 5 year old.

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 26/01/2018 18:27

I would just be straight and say no, that holiday is precious family time for just the 3 of us.
It’s very odd behaviour from them - it’s their job to look after their children not yours. My aunt was a bit like this with my much younger cousins- had a hissy fit at my grandparents birthday lunch years ago when we put her 2 year old on the table between her and her husband. Why she thought it was someone else’s job to look after her I don’t know. Hmm

BouleBaker · 26/01/2018 18:29

Wow. No bloody way. They need to look after their own children or hire a nanny to take on holiday with them.

Lonesurvivor · 26/01/2018 18:33

Say no and stop feeling bad. They're taking advantage asking and if you do oblige this will become the norm
Also start saying no for future requests, you're not doing those kids any favours allowing their parents to leave them behind so regularly.

Mrsjellybum · 26/01/2018 18:35

Definitely not. They are being cheeky. Don't feel bad for saying no. It would also cost you much more in daily treats etc to take another on holiday.

Don't give in
I'd be so anxious the whole time and not enjoy my holiday
You deserve your own family holiday just the 3 of you

Donut77 · 27/01/2018 01:20

Thank you so much for all the advice. Gratefully appreciated. My husband is great and has told them no. we are on the same page. I don't want there to be a rift in the family. We just need to set some boundaries. I just feel bad because now my mother in law is going to mind them for a week and someone else for a week but it's asking a lot of a lady who is elderly and not really able for two small kids for that length of time but she is insisting on doing it. There has been a lot of taking advantage on their part for a while now and it's just come to head. When we said no we were asked 'why?' I don't think these people get it 🙈 They are very different people to me and my husband and extremely laid back but too laid back when it comes to the kids for the my liking. They have offered to return the favour and take our child whenever we would like but....it's never gonna happen. I don't trust them enough to be honest and I have no need to ever ask them to mind her anyway. Anyway not our problem anymore. Was just looking for outsider point of view and I guess to be honest to know I wasn't a bad person for thinking how selfish and cheeky a request it was. Thank you all for taking the time to read and respond x

Donut77 · 27/01/2018 01:24

Ps: I am very fond of their kids and have a great relationship with the kids and don't mind taking care of them for a few days at all. Just this request pushed the boundaries too far I think.

Donut77 · 27/01/2018 01:25

Pls: sorry new on this and changed my user name. Don't want to get rumbled by said in laws 🙈🙈🙈

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