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Disrespectful fiancé

46 replies

Mummalovex · 17/01/2018 13:19

Hello everyone, I want people opinions,

So me and my partner have been together 3 years and have 2 children together, and just recently he has been going out until stupid hours of the morning with his friends ( I haven't got an issue with him going out) however he strolled in at 7am a few weeks ago, he is 33 and acts like an immature little boy, we bicker about anything and everything, he is off of work at the moment as he is unwell and he has lived with his mum up until he was 30, expects me to do the things for him that his mum would have done, when I say no, he gets very nasty and says things like 'I'm gonna fuck you up' and 'if only the kids weren't here, you'd be unconscious' I have been unwell but am better today, but last night I didn't want dinner so only cooked for the children (2 girls) and said to him, if he wanted dinner he could cook for himself, the verbal abuse I got was horrendous he said 'I want to slit your throat in your sleep' up until he was 30 he lived with his mum and he done everything for him, I've told him I'm not going to act like his mum and that I am his fiancé! Anyway he cooked his own dinner and had the right hump about it! Keeps saying his life would be much better without me in it. I don't know what to do... just wanted some advise please x

OP posts:
BlueUggs · 17/01/2018 13:51

Well done!! Don't let him back in. You might need to repeat it ad infinitum. Do NOT let him charm you or sweet talk you or minimise his threats.
Stay strong!! ThanksThanks

Greenfinch1 · 17/01/2018 13:52

Hi, I am so sorry you are in this position. I agree with other posters, do hold your nerve and don't let him back in the house. Involve police or friends to help you. Keep thinking of your children. Do not let him talk you around. He will probably try. Keep thinking of your children. Good luck Mumma.

MotherofaSurvivor · 17/01/2018 14:03

I totally agree that going to raves is absolutely not acceptable for a parent!!

Please, please call Women's Aid OP, if only for advice.

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MotherofaSurvivor · 17/01/2018 14:04

They can even give advice on how to talk to him or the best ways to approach him. Or they can help you leave temporarily and help you get an order for him to leave the house whilst you and the kids are elsewhere x

SparklyMagpie · 17/01/2018 14:07

Get his stuff in the front garden when bagged up and get the locks changed

Thank god you havnt married him, what a vile scumbag!

TinWhistleTunes · 17/01/2018 14:12

Yes, you need to call women's aid, and report his threats to kill to the police. This will help to protect you in the future.

Well done for making such a brave decision. Stay strong. You have to be grateful you didn't marry him.

I'm sure it all hurts a lot right now, and feels weird to be taking this big step. You will get through it Flowers

KimmySchmidt1 · 17/01/2018 14:14

He sounds awful, abusive and very unhappy about his life with you and the children. I’m wondering how this family situation happened. Was it his idea to get pregnant and have two children so soon in the relationship? Why did you have them?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 17/01/2018 14:17

Good for you babe, do you have a friend or relative who can be there with you when he comes to collect?

What an horrid little shit, you are much better off without him!!! Flowers

Mummalovex · 17/01/2018 14:21

Thank you everyone! Kimmy i was on the pill when I fell pregnant wit my eldest, and didn't have it in me to abort (absolutely no dosprrspect to anyone has has) and the relationship was brilliant! With my youngest, again I was in the pill and it happened again, so this time round I went for the coil which has had better reviews!

OP posts:
Mummalovex · 17/01/2018 14:23

And yes @GreenFingersWouldBeHandy I do, I can get a relative round when he does come and collect! I am feeling very apprehensive about it though!

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 17/01/2018 14:54

A bit of back up in situations like this is never a bad thing. Also please do call police if he starts getting arsey. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 17/01/2018 14:55

PS: Yes, get locks changed asap too.

Mummalovex · 17/01/2018 14:57

Yes I will, thank you! Really appreciate it from everyone

OP posts:
Starlight2345 · 17/01/2018 14:59

I would also add as someone who left an abusive partner . While you may feel dependant soon you will feel a sense of freedom and control

0ccamsRazor · 17/01/2018 15:08

Fingers crossed for you Op, can you have a friend or family member with you when you tell him? Your safety is paramount.

Mummalovex · 17/01/2018 15:15

@0ccamsRazor yes I can, I'm going to get them round before he come back from his mums.

OP posts:
thethoughtfox · 17/01/2018 17:46

Perhaps have someone in the house with you when you tell him or contact 101 and let the police know that you are ending a relationship and tell them the kind of things he says and that you are worried about how he will react when you tell him to leave.

MotherofaSurvivor · 17/01/2018 23:53

How did it go OP? X

notapizzaeater · 18/01/2018 00:28

Hope it went ok

0ccamsRazor · 18/01/2018 08:19

I hope all went well for you last night and this morning finds you in fine fettle.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 18/01/2018 11:16

How are you today Mummalovex ?

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