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Infuriating habits at work...

6 replies

Grammarphone · 17/01/2018 11:55

Hi all, after some general advice.

I work as part of a small team. One of my colleagues has a number of body focussed repetitive behaviours - namely nail and finger biting, skin picking and hair pulling (Trichotillomania) - and it's starting to drive me and others absolutely bonkers.

The nail biting is worst, and is pretty much constant. Their fingers are red raw, often bleeding, and bits of skin and nail end up on the desk, on the floor, all over the place. Slobbery, bleeding fingers are wiped on clothes, the chair, the desk. They will pick their face/nose/arms till they scab and bleed, and pull out strands of hair to drop on the floor. It is truly awful, I have never come across anything quite like it.

Due to the layout of our office I am confronted with it all day long, the noise and the visuals - there is literally no escape from it. Its a VERY quiet office too - no radio or music allowed - and so the noise of the clicking teeth and smacking lips is quite pronounced. Although several of my colleagues are aware of it going on, I sit the closest to the person out of everyone, and there is nowhere else to base myself.

Now, I am aware that these behaviours aren't just "bad habits" and that there is something behind them, but my tolerance for them is fast running out and I don't know what to do. I find myself getting more and more stressed as the day wears on.

Outwardly this person seems happy at work, we are a kind, friendly team and all get on well. If they are suffering in some way I would like to be able to offer assistance, but I in no way want to embarrass them or shame them. The behaviours are worst when the person is bored, but often this is unavoidable and I am not going to unfairly hand out work for the sake of keeping them busy.

Should I say something - kindly - in an effort to make sure they are comfortable at work, or will this exacerbate things? And does anyone have constructive advice for coping with situations like this?

Thanks all in advance.

OP posts:
Poshindevon · 18/01/2018 05:25

If you and other colleagues are aware of this persons hehaviour how come the management have not noticed?
I would speak to your line manager / HR about this problem and maybe for starters move you to another position where your not confronted by your nail biting colleague.
The persons habits are unhygienic and management need to address it

RebootYourEngine · 18/01/2018 05:39

I would be bringing this up with HR or management. It sounds disgusting and distracting.

PastaOfMuppets · 18/01/2018 06:13

This stems from anxiety, so regardless of how repulsive the sight and sound is for you (and the thought that everything in your office is covered in little bits of this person's saliva, hair, skin and nails), HR will probably say you can't complain as it's a MH thing. You have my sympathies, I would've quit by now, in all seriousness. I wouldn't be able to deal with this.

redexpat · 18/01/2018 06:56

I would assume its anxiety based. Could you use earplugs or noise cancelling headphones?

mumonashoestring · 18/01/2018 07:07

Still worth having a word with HR though - the very fact that it's anxiety-related means someone needs to be making sure that employee is coping with their workload, being offered support with their issues and the sheer fact that it's MH related doesn't 'trump' the OPs mental health needs. The employer should be looking out for both of them.

mumonashoestring · 18/01/2018 07:07

Still worth having a word with HR though - the very fact that it's anxiety-related means someone needs to be making sure that employee is coping with their workload, being offered support with their issues and the sheer fact that it's MH related doesn't 'trump' the OPs mental health needs. The employer should be looking out for both of them.

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