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Original poster

Big house in the country or small flat in the city...

50 replies

frasier · 08/01/2018 01:56

...when the flat in the city means I will see my son awake during the week.

Commuting from out of town means we have a great lifestyle in a gorgeous house... at weekends. During the week I am up at 6.30am to catch the train to work and back at 8.00pm or even later when my son is in bed. So I don't get to see him awake much.

In the city I don't need to leave the flat until 9.00am so could take my son to school, and will be home at 6.30pm in time for a game before bedtime. But small flat. No playroom, no garden.

Schools are equal, living costs work out about the same (city more expensive but no commuting costs). Countryside is healthier, son has plenty of room to roam around, can just open the back door and be outside and ride his bike. City is easier (portered flat, everything taken care of from recycling to deliveries to cleaning) but a shoebox.

I want the best for my son. WWYD?

OP posts:

BendyBusBuggy · 08/01/2018 02:00

Can you go half way? Sounds like the country side is 1.5 hours commute away, can you find something within 30 minutes with a garden?

Ohladedah · 08/01/2018 02:01

Usually I'd say country. But I think in this case I'd say city. Quality time with an engaged and happy parent is so so important. And if you commit to using some of your weekend in a really outdoorsy way, then he doesn't miss out there either.

BendyBusBuggy · 08/01/2018 02:01

(But to answer your question: if these are the only two options I would choose city to be able to see my son every day)

Original poster

frasier · 08/01/2018 02:02

bendy We've looked and looked for a year. The closer you're in, the more expensive the properties get because it's a quicker commute.

OP posts:

RestingGrinchFace · 08/01/2018 02:05

Will there be a SAHP/GP or will the child be left with a nanny/put in boarding/whatever

Original poster

frasier · 08/01/2018 02:09

RestingGrinchFace SAHP in either place. DP is freelance and can work anywhere and from home during school hours.

OP posts:

Kursk · 08/01/2018 03:41

I would always say country. I would never live in a city nothing about a town or city appealed to me.

comfortandjoy · 08/01/2018 04:12

I would say flat for children of young age. We chose to do this until school started because I thought more time together is more important than a garden at that age. Now we've moved to a house with a big garden, lots of trees to climb and child misses the flat .DP has a longer commute now and so we always eat laterand I miss our 6pm dinners as they worked better with the night time routine . There's a compromise with both. Another thing is we seem to spend half the weekend on maintaining the house / garden while it was all looked after at the flat - so again less quality time

MerryShitmas · 08/01/2018 05:26

I would look for another job and maybe even relocate to another country (though within the uk) or city.
Sorry if that's not helpful!

LolitaLempicka · 08/01/2018 05:45

Flat all the way. We have lived in cities and rurally in many countries. Life in the city is always much more exciting. I also think that when the kids are little you make more effort to take them out and parks are much much better than even the best back garden. It is also quality time, you don't just open the door and turf them out. We moved out of the city centre when mine were a little older, so that's always an option. But that was very short-lived because naturally teenagers want to be somewhere more exciting. I also did not want to be the taxi driver, so when we moved again we stayed in the city centre. I have absolutely loved bringing up my children in cities.

Trailedanderror · 08/01/2018 05:55

What would the sahp like? And can you/ would you like to get to the countryside for outings/ weekends?

catwoozle · 08/01/2018 05:57

Stay in the countryside and review how/when you work with a view to changing it over time, if you can't do so immediately.

Original poster

frasier · 08/01/2018 10:30

SAHP is stumped, same as me, though hates to drive which means the city has slightly more appeal in that there is no need to drive...But they've always wanted the country life.

comfortandjoy My sister said exactly the same - they spent all the time working on the house and her son missed the flat when they moved even though his bedroom was the size of a cupboard

OP posts:

Original poster

frasier · 08/01/2018 10:32

We could probably get into the country for weekends depending on school commitments and activities.

catwoozle yes that is what we're doing at the moment and how I realised I never get to see my boy.

OP posts:

eastlondoner · 08/01/2018 10:37

Small flat in the city definitely. I say that as that's what we have and have decided to keep due to the much shorter commute and increased family time.

Original poster

frasier · 08/01/2018 11:00

MerryShitmas I work for an international company so your suggestion is plausible. However we don't want to interrupt schooling and as British nationals think the long term security might be better in the UK.

OP posts:

RestingGrinchFace · 08/01/2018 11:07

In that case I would 100% say country. London really isn't a good place to raise children. Too much noise, light, dirty air. We are moving back to the country after a brief stint in a commuter town. I can't wait! I could never imagine voluntarily raising young children in town. We've discussed it previously but even Richmond/wimbeldon type areas it's no where near as pleasant or wholesome.

Original poster

frasier · 08/01/2018 11:35

eastlondoner Do you use the parks and open spaces a lot, or are you a more indoorsy type of family?

OP posts:

CappuccinoCake · 08/01/2018 11:39

There wont be school commitments at the weekend will there?

How small is a small flat? Are you meaning reasonable size but no playroom which would be normal living to many or sharing a bedroom or sleeping in the living room (something I wouildnt do but many do).

Is a smaller place zone 6 not possible?

Bat3 · 08/01/2018 11:41

What a difficult choice. I think I would go for flat in the city. I used to have a long commute and it was sooooo hard. I was totally knackered for about 4 years.

CappuccinoCake · 08/01/2018 11:41

It's really hard isn't it. We moved out of London but we didn't have the income to make it work.

If you did flat by week but did lots of outdoor pursuits at the weekend it could work? If hate to not see my children at all.
My husband worked away mon-fri for a few years and although we made it work, was horrible.

eastlondoner · 08/01/2018 11:58

Hi there yes we do. We live next to the Olympic park so we use that and just love getting out and about and enjoying London. I know I'd be bored living in the countryside.

Original poster

frasier · 08/01/2018 12:04

CappuccinoCake Some of the sports events are on Saturdays.

Flat is reasonable size really, just seems small after the house! Son has his own room which is a small double. Our bedroom is bigger and ensuite. Kitchen, another bathroom, bigger than average sitting room, and a large hall space which is a complete waste of space.

Wonder if it could be remodeled...?

OP posts:

Original poster

frasier · 08/01/2018 12:06

Also, we also have a storage space in the basement of the building so that is not an issue, plus gym and pool in the building for residents use. on uses pool but is too young for the gym.

OP posts:

Original poster

frasier · 08/01/2018 12:07

^That should read "SON uses the pool...".

OP posts:

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