Dilemma - wedding and/or reception

[AmaraSas]

My youngest brother is getting Married in May.

Received the invitations ... yes plural

1. just for me for the wedding
2. for the reception an hour later for both me and my son (a minor)

Now i completely understand why children may not be wanted at the wedding so I am not disputing the arrangement

But anyone got any ideas how I can sort it so I can go to the wedding but get us both at the reception

We live 2 hours away so nipping home is not an option
All potential childcare from family in the area will be at the wedding
The only other children in the family are part of the bridal party so there is no option of leaving all the children in one place for them to descend on the reception later
I asked my ex-oh if he could bring his son to the reception only to be told a resounding no ... i dont blame him its a bit of a trek to be fair.

Dont really want to leave my son in a car for an hour but that at the moment seems the only choice, that and/or just going to the reception but I know thats going to put noses out of joint.

They obviously know your situation and it sounds to me more like they just want you at the reception and not the ceremony and feel this is a way on ensuring that without coming across as off/rude x

the situation is only difficult because your brother is incapable of a sensible conversation. he may not be unreasonable in not wanting the stress or risk of an 11 year old shouting out or whatever in the middle of the ceremony. However what is so hard in saying to his sister "what do you think is best?" rather than posting 2 invites.

Can you not just talk to your brother and explain it's making it really difficult for you to attend the wedding and stressing you out? You don't need to talk to the bride.

Just decline the invite to the ceremony on the grounds you have no childcare and accept the reception invite for you both. Do they have children of their own? They may not have realised this is an un-workable scenario.

If its a church anyone can attend so just both go - how would they know?

Can't he just have the iPad in the ceremony with earphones?

cushion covers for me too

selfish sods

Sitters and similar agencies are reputable and will go to hotels.

As others have said, the ceremony is held in a public place - a church - so any member of the public can attend, although the reception is likely to be invitation only, so it's strange that your brother and fiancée have sent you two invitations. I think you either tell your brother that you'll both be attending the ceremony and the reception, or that neither of you will. (The third option is that you threaten to tattle to the vicar )

Have you discussed this with anyone else in the family, op? It seems really mean to pointedly leave out 1 nephew.

How nasty that the have excluded only one nephew.

A far better approach would have been to talk to mum about how to facilitate DN and mum attending and what could be done to help him remain calm and quiet during the ceremony like sitting near the door incase he needs to leave or wearing headphones and going on his iPad at the back of the church.

I'd be really upset if my DBrother excluded my kids in this way tbh.

I have, its not my brother its future sil. Both my other brother and I feel like boycotting the wedding on the back of it. Its my youngest brother that is getting married and i would have loved to have seen him married much more than go to the lame family party afterwards. I cant do the service without my son so i cant do the service. Its sad really.