I have never posted before. Going to give you full long back story.
Im separated with 3 children. So starting going out with a man 2 years ago. My children are only gone one night a week and every other Saturday.
So at first I’d meet him once a week after work. We might have a drink/dinner and then just sit in the car and chat till late. Couldn’t go to his house because he lived with his eldest daughter. Wasn’t ready for me to meet her. Saturday’s we very rarely did anything. He’d have other plans. Ex asked him to have kids or he’d say he was coming over but not turn up till 11pm or not turn up at all.
14 months down the line. I realised he didn’t live where he had told me. One morning went to his house. He left for work I confronted him. Asked why he’d lied he said he hadn’t that’s his mates house. So he drove off. I knocked on the door. Expecting to see a mate or his daughter. No it was his ex with their youngest child. We chatted I said I was his girlfriend. She wasn’t shocked. So after lots of talking with bf after I’d calmed down. He said that he sleeps on the sofa. They are not together. He lives there because he can’t afford to move. I heard a conversation with her where he said we are not together anymore I sleep on the sofa. She agreed. So I believed him. We stayed together. He said he’d move out by summer. Then he’d move out by Christmas.
Well forward another 8 months.
On my night without the kids he is not free to see me until 11/12 at night. Then has to be home by 6.30 to get ready for work. I live a 40 minute drive away. He never has petrol so needs a lift.
He says that he made an arrangement that the children would see him at home in the evenings after work and in the mornings on school days. That’s why he can’t see me till late. Yet when we first got together I’d meet him at 7pm straight from his work and he’d not go home till midnight maybe later. So no seeing kids. Please don’t think I have a problem with him seeing his kids. But 2 are near adults 17/19 and 3 are 11,10 and 3. So you’d have thought get Home at 7. Kids should be in bed around 9. Meet my 9.30. Aibu.
Well now his latest thing is completely standing me up. We’ve established tuesdays is midnight. So every other Saturday. He went to his sisters fell asleep on sofa and woke up and called me the next day at 7am. Boxing Day. He went to his mums fell asleep phoned me at 7am. Saturday. Just fell asleep at home. Text me at 1am not ignoring you fell asleep. It’s like he doesn’t see how rude it is to tell someone you’ll be over and not turn up and because you’ve fallen asleep it’s ok you can’t help falling asleep.
It makes me so angry. We get along so well. We can chat rubbish for hours. And when he’s at work we do talk in between his jobs. Quite a few times a day. But when he’s home we hardly speak on the phone. Text are very rare and pretty much one sided as he tends to reply with one word answers.
I love him so much and we do get along. But we’ve never spent more than 12 hours together and that’s only over night. The one time we stayed at a hotel he didn’t turn up till 8.30. Then after breakfast he slept until late check out ended.
I can’t introduce him to my children because he is unreliable. He can’t introduce me to his children because they don’t actually know mum and dad have split up. But they must know somethings up because I sleep on the sofa. Is what I get told.
Ok big long rambling message. Not sure what I want to be people’s replies. Or even what my question is.