We moved to Australia from happy English life in 2003, married and with my 14m old son. Our first two years were fraught with poor finances, difficulties in getting jobs and fitting in, and trying to get pregnant again.
I moved here because we were granted permanent residency but mostly, because my husband wanted to move. I was very happy in the UK but thought we could give it a go (rather than regret not trying).
In 2005 my daughter was finally born. In 2007 I discovered my husband had been having an affair for two years and had no intention of returning to the UK, regardless of how I felt. He put legal action in place so I wasn't able to leave the country with the children. That was 10 years ago.
A single parent for 10 years living hand to mouth and not able to afford to fly 'home' - I've been back once. I still haven't settled in Australia. I find it hard to keep friends. I've become alcohol dependent and very lonely - also have put on a lot of weight. I'm a completely different person and I don't have the strength left. Old friends in the UK, family scattered across the world and not very close. I am literally on my own.
I have tried lots of counselling, anti-depressants, not drinking, many things - but in my heart, I'm just not happy and really miss the life I had and the person I was.
The problem is that Australia is such a beautiful place and my children have had a wonderful childhood. I feel I'm waiting out the years until the time comes when they leave home - if they leave Australia, I would too. But what a waste of nearly 20 years.
What are your thoughts? Has anyone found themselves in a place like this? Anyone been through it and come out the other side?