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6 year long relationship, feel like I’m becoming damaged & brainwashed?

2 replies

dani1394 · 29/12/2017 19:13

Hi all. I have been in a relationship with my husband for 6 years. We have one child together and also live together. Our relationship has had its lowest lows & highest highs. Right now I’m batteling with my emotions and don’t know if I have mental health issues or if my relationship is effecting me or I am being brainwashed perhaps. My other half smokes cannabis on a daily basis and has done since his teenage years. He isn’t lazy & im aware I can’t make him stop unless he wants to, which he doesn’t. However I recently discovered he has been taking cocaine behind my back. He thinks he should be able to take whatever he likes if he really wants to, & shouldn’t be persicuted by me, & that’s his reason for hiding it and also for lying. I’m a relatively serious woman. I enjoy a passion for bodybuilding for which he despises, he’s very insecure even about me wearing gym leggings. However if I ask questions to him about where he is, when he’s home he feels that I’m interigating him and that he can’t breathe. I don’t think he trusts me although no reason not to as such. I myself do not take drugs, I enjoy a healthy lifestyle & he is very opposite. He blames me for a lot that’s gone wrong in his life and begrudges me. Often threatening to leave me (he lives in my home) although I call it ours. He has other properties he could live in (work relating for him). He helps out with jobs around home & spends good time with our son. Do I need to lay off? Are my standards to high? I must say after the lies I don’t feel much trust towards him, but I don’t hold him against this on a daily basis like he does with my gym leggings which really is a huge deal in my daily life with him. He thinks it’s to show off to other men at the gym and really they’re just Normal gym leggings. There’s a large amount of jealously I would guess along with some insecurity which he probably wouldn’t want to admit. I love the idea of a normal life where my husband agree’s that drugs are bad and just occasional alcohol and enjoyment be enough. Everything progresses in life. I have saved enough money for a mortgage for our future home and he still hasn’t managed to do so, even though he makes a lot more money than I ever have. He has spent his money on gold jewellery, designer clothes & cannabis I suppose. He does still take us out for food as a family and the smaller things. I’m just not sure if I’m questioning myself wrongly? Or do I need to back off?

OP posts:
Rainbowmother · 29/12/2017 21:49

You're standards are not high enough my love.

He's jealous, thinks you're trying to pull other men, takes drugs and gives you shit while living in your home .... you deserve more

Giraffey1 · 29/12/2017 21:59

He sounds very attractive! He smoke illegal drugs, is jealous of you, lies (or thinks you do, I can’t quite work out which), dislikes your healthy lifestyle and, from what you’ve said I think, spends all his money on him and none on the family or your future.

Oh, but he takes you out for meals? That’s all right then!

Do you actually get anything from this relationship? It’s hard to see what.

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