I’ve been with my partner for 3 years, we live together are engaged and trying for a baby. Prior to our relationship he was with another woman for 10 years, they were not married and didn’t have any children, but their families were close.
After a few months together I found out that his mother and sister are still very close with his ex and her family; his ex’s sister, husband and children visit each week and sometimes the ex. I’ve had to sit through many family events and dinners in her shadow, they make no effort to speak to me and my partner ignores me when they are there, favouring chatting to them and leaving me sat alone on my own. He will not acknowledge the ex in my presence, they will go to another room to talk, instantly become quiet and distance themselves when I walk into the room.
This was only occasionally at first but it is turning into almost every weekend, he insists we spend Sunday lunch with them and his family.
This has all become to much for me and I refused to attend their family meal on Boxing Day as I found out his ex was also invited. I really don’t know what to do about this, I have spoken to him about it, he says I am being irrational and that he cannot ask his mother and sister to cut her or her family off just because I feel uncomfortable.
I’ve tried brushing it off and joining in conversations in their company but it is completely awkward, nobody seems to want to talk to me, they have even turned their backs on me when I have joined them for a conversation.
Interestingly his ex has a new man, but he is never mentioned and declines invitations to family events. I could continue to do the same but to be honest I find it all very strange. I believe that unless children are involved, the ex and their family should be cut off so that everybody can move on.
The worst part of it all is that he confides in his ex brother in law about or relationship. We recently had trouble over a stressful time I had at work. To my amazement his ex and her sister started asking me about it. I think this is very inappropriate, they shouldn’t know any details about our life together.
It’s got so bad that I am now contemplating ending the relationship. I love him, but not enough to continue having his ex and her family in our lives.
Advice please...