DS Visits to ExH

[user9217]

Hey all. So a lot of you will probably know me from past posts but just wanted some opinions and experience in the following please 😊

DS has just started weekly visits to his dads, I have been a couple of times to settle him and check out the house etc (invited by ExH no problems with that)

When he first started asking me about having DS over several weeks ago he told me he already had lots of toys and equipment for DS almost everything he would need without us unnecessarily doubling up on stuff at each other's houses. When I took DS there earlier this week, it turned out he had no toys, no equipment only a buggy, so no highchair, bowls spoons cups etc - I had said I would send him with clothes fave comforter and milk etc.
He's due to go tomorrow and I told ExH to let me know if he managers to get bowls spoons cup etc as he didn't have them and said he was going shopping for it all tonight (Friday) and DS is due to have lunch there tomorrow. Heard nothing from him - so just wondering what any other separated parents have done re sharing stuff? I kinda feel like he should have them/should've got them as he was pestering for DS to go there for ages but then lied about what he had (or lack of)
Any thoughts please? Thank you 😊

Dont enable him to be a lazy fucker. Send him a list of suggestions /essentials.
It is best for dc in the long run if he steps up from the beginning.
My friend still provides 'the bag' 4 years down the line and ex makes sure her life revolves around 'the bag' and his collection of it. If the contents are ever wrong she is to blame and there is hell to pay. Please bow out of the responsibility of your dc in HIS time.

@Tinselistacky thank you yeah I did think of that. Hand him a list and say 'these are all the things I think you will need for when DS is here' just worried that he'll think he knows better than me (common problem when we were married) and it's DS that'll miss out/suffer from it

Don't provide anything. Not even a list.

He'll have bowls and spoons etc. They might not be plastic baby ones but tbh they don't need to be.

Let him figure out what he needs.

He'll soon realise he needs a highchair and maybe that means he'll have to take DS out tomorrow and buy one.

But he'll manage!

@cakeymccakington that's true but he's asked me previously what to get and I told him few suggestions weeks ago and he chose to ignore. So that's up to him I guess isn't it! Lol