Mother in law (MIL)

[chickennuggetsandicecream]

Ok so I have a 7 week old little one and the MIL has been down once to meet her (all while I was recovering from birth and wanted to be left alone) she doesn't live close and gets jealous when other family members get to spend time with my baby. We're away for Christmas at my dads and straight after she wants us to drive 3 hours to go and stay with her (I don't want to spend too much time away from home with such a young baby plus I'll be exhausted) also she likes to stick her nose in I'll be dressing my DD and she will say oh you can't dress her in that it's not pink (sorry but when did girls have to always wear pink) she also stuck her nose in whilst I was pregnant and turned her nose up at every name me and my partner came up with (sorry but we have to live with that name our choice) my biggest worry is that she will want to interfere when we go to see her and take my DD out of her routine I've worked so bloody hard to get her in as she only wakes once a night or goes through. She's desperate to bath her too but she has really bad dry itchy skin/ eczema and I've been advised by the doctor to just top and tail wash not to bath until the cream starts to take effect (approximately 14 days) what Can I do my partner doesn't always want to say anything as he doesn't want to cause an argument but any suggestions on how I can go about keeping my cool and how I can tell her to give me my bloody baby back and stop interfering and telling me how to parent in the nicest possible way :)

" we can arrange a visit but we have been working hard / working with doctors to
Make sure DD is comfortable and in
A routine, so we would need you to help us keep to that"

If your DH's holiday allowance is okay, get back from your parents, have 3 or so days at home, drive to MIL's stay one night then come home.

Remind her repeatedly if necessary, your dd is not a doll, do it with a smile but let her know you mean it.

Tell her she has had her turn at being Mummy to your DH and any of his siblings, so now you are Mum to your dd.

For baths, say THE DOCTOR HAS TOLD ME TO
and I HAVE TO DO THIS ON MEDICAL ADVICE

For Clothing say THE DOCTOR HAS SAID ONLY COMFY SOFT CLOTHING
For washing, detergents etc. say THE DOCTOR SAYS IT HAS TO BE UNPERFUMED NON_BIO or whatever suits your dd's skin best to stop MIL giving you a pile of fredhly laundered stinky fabric conditionered laundry that will irritate dd's skin like crazy.

Other ways to stop her interfering, don't tell her in advance what you are planning to do.

Don't let her hold dd more then you are comfortable with, (excuse, heat can irritate eczema) make sure MIL's not wearing any wool clothes that could irritate dd's skin (and in sensitive cases no makeup that can rub off on dd's skin or perfume )

In the longer term, your DH needs to learn he has to support you and his child where his mum is concerned.

Sorry for the late reply but thank you Obscuredbyfog your advice was really helpful x