Is it okay to try and discourage a couple who are about to try and conceive?

[Sealsarewaterdogs]

I'm 25, my partner is 31. We have been together 6 years, lived together for 5. My partner has a wonderful son who's 7, we had shared custody of him until he started school and now we have him every single weekend instead (Fri-Sun) as his mother re-located far away.

I have told a handful of people that I plan to try for a baby starting from January (hoping the child will be born after September (knowing my luck, I won't be successful until December and end up having an August baby anyway ha) - But I'm going to still try!

I've just had negative comments from the 4 people I've told, except from my Mum (who's over-joyed).

No one's really keen on the idea and it's quite dis-heartening, I've stopped bringing it up and I haven't mentioned it to anyone else since I got the negative responses.

My partner's family keep making comments like "I should wait until my step son is older as he already has a 1 year old brother at his mother's house and doesn't need 2 baby siblings".

And my best friend of 9 years lives a different lifestyle from me, she's never had a long-term partner, she's only just started working for the first time (I've worked full-time since 16). And she still lives with her parents. She keeps making patronising and condescending remarks such as "a baby is for life not just for Christmas" and "don't become one of those benefit Mum's who never work". I feel like these digs are because I'm her main friend and I won't be able to go for cocktails or be her wing-woman anymore. I expected more from her tbh.

Did anyone else get negative feedback like this? Did it stop once you conceived?

I just hoped other people would share in the excitement and I really hope their attitudes change if conception is successful and I'm particularly disappointed in my partners family's remarks. I'm not being hyper-sensitive right?

financially ok? (as much as anyone can be). OK with the forthcoming baby bomb that will completely disrupt everything? happy with 18 years of putting someone else first?

go for it. But I would strongly suggest 20 mins in the registry office first. Protect yourself.

Don't tell people you plan to conceive. It's tmi. Some people feel they have to comment one way or the other and say something rather than say just oh.

I regretted telling people we were gonna ttc once we were married as I just had 18 months of people asking if I was yet. Grrr

I only told my bf when we were ttc and that was a nightmare as she decided she wanted to have a baby too so felt (in many ways still feels) like a bit of a competition. Incredibly we managed to have babies within 2 months of each other but if one of us had struggled it would have been even worse!
Also, when we announced the pregnancy lots of my friends who are not at the baby stage yet clearly thought it was a mistake and a few of them have really distanced themselves now DS is here. However, DS is my world and I love him to bits. I know I was ready for a baby and you sound ready too. Don't live your life by other people's standards - if you want to have children and now is the right time, go for it! As you say, it could take a while anyway.
For your own sanity, don't mention it anymore. Good luck with everything!

Yabu to tell anyone. Your family will already assume you have sex - why do people need to reinforce it?

Don't mention TTC and DO NOT mention baby name choices! Seriously do not do that. Everyone will be the same as this and think they get a say and will tell you how much they hate your choices. When presenting a baby with a name (usually) nobody says a word about your choice.